If you are from the great city of Cleveland but you are currently living in Pittsburgh for any reason, I assume that you have experienced all of these feelings at some time or another:
1. You are constantly hassled about being a Browns fan.
But you are still a hardcore Browns fan, because #dawgpound.
2. You laugh when people say Pittsburgh gets a lot of snow.
You haven't experienced snow until you live on Lake Erie.
3. You feel out of place when your friends don't what know Dortmunder Gold or Burning River Pale Ale are.
Great Lakes Brewing Company. That's what.
4. You are told that you are a horrible human being for not liking the Steelers, Pirates or Pens.
"I mean, come on, who doesn't watch Pittsburgh sports?"
5. You can name at least 50 Jewish people you personally know, whereas your friends from Pittsburgh have trouble naming five.
What's Judaism?
6. You know exactly how to work round-a-bouts.
That means Pittsburghers know how to work bridges?
7. You look like a lunatic screaming at your phone, on which you are streaming the Cavaliers game.
You are a die-hard Cavaliers fan, even though Pittsburghers are like, "Basketball?" King James 'til I die.
8. You openly claim to Pittsburgh disbelievers that you live in a city where the river caught on fire.
But, just for argument's sake, the trash in the river caught on fire, not the water. Cleveland isn't called the "Mistake on the Lake" for no reason!
9. You have a deep connection to all things 'A Christmas Story.'
Ralphie's house is in Cleveland, so leg lamps and bunny suits it is!
10. Kennywood? Nope, Cedar Point.
No questions asked.
11. You claim that Primanti Brothers is no match for Cleveland pierogies, the West Side Market, East 4th Street and Coventry food.
What compares to the Chocolate Bar? Nothing.
12. You are always asked whether you know Amish people or whether you live among corn fields.
First off, what? Second, the answer is no to both questions because I live in a city, just like you. No Amish people or corn fields in sight.
13. You are embarrassed to say you have never watched hockey because Cleveland doesn't have a team.
I can hear it now: "Never watched hockey?"
14. You've been told that there is nothing in Cleveland as pretty as The Point or the view from Mt. Washington.
Yes, those views are amazing, but have you been to the Cleveland Metroparks or been on a boat on Lake Erie in the summer? Didn't think so. Amazing views, let me tell you.
15. You are constantly asked why you support Cleveland so much.
I bet you would support it, too, if you were a Cleveland native.
16. Finally, no matter what anyone says, Cleveland is home and always will be.
Pittsburgh is cool and all, but the Land is the best. #ALLinCLE
