At the University of La Verne, they have a program called, “One Book, One University”, where every year the whole school reads the same book, one that deals with a contemplative issue that we all face.

This year, we were given the book Citizen, by Claudia Rankine, an American Lyric that brings to light the racism that is very real to this day. It is a compilation of Claudia and her friend’s modern- day encounters with racism. She eloquently displays these horrific micro-aggressions with poetic nuances and beauty.

I was first annoyed that we had to read the book because it was just another book that we had to buy. But the from cover hooked me right in the bookstore. It was a picture of a severed black hoodie, which I thought was an artistic response to the killing of Trayvon Martin (I later found out it was in response to the beating of Rodney King).

For my Literary Theory and Criticism class, our professor broke up our reading assignments into two parts. The first night of our reading was the first 80 pages. We came to class the next day having to come up with one word to describe our feelings so far. My word was “enlightening”. Many other words with the same positive connotation were thrown around, more inspired by the strength in these scenarios than anything. We talked about the true meaning behind “micro aggression”, which means, “subtle or blatant attempts at punishing unexpected behavior; a way of disciplining those whose identities fails to conform to stereotypical expectations”.

I of course have experienced a few micro aggressions as a female, but I never have had to feel less than for the color of my skin. Reading the stories within the book and hearing real life situations that left every one of us in the classroom in tears, opened my eyes in a new, compassionate way.

The next week, we were assigned the second have of the reading, which was more focused on the modern day macro-aggressions, some that we have heard on the news lately.

Leading up to my class on Thursday, Claudia Rankine herself, came to our school and gave a lecture and reading of Citizen.

I had my book in hand and my eyes glued on this beautiful and awe-inspiring woman for almost two hours, while she brought to our attention the realities we are living in. She shared the back stories of many of the scenarios, including one that happened to her in the town right next to us in Claremont, CA, arguably the most progressive, democratic, peace-loving and bohemian town in all of SoCal.

She also talked about how her perspective and her husband’s perspective has shifted since their marriage (he is white). She is more understanding of the society we are raised in, and he now fully comprehends the horrific and terrifying world African Americans, and all other races, have to deal with today.

She then showed a video that her and her husband put together, a compilation of the footage of the recent shootings and beatings of African Americans by cops while she narrated her poetry throughout the video.

For the 10 minute showing, I was shocked. It was not long until tears were streaming down my face and my jaw was on the floor.

It hit me in a way this topic never had before. Maybe because in my life, I never had to deal with it, or maybe I have been so sheltered I never had to pay attention.

But this made it all too real.

The next day, everyone walked in the classroom a little quieter. We were told to pick a word for the second half of the book. My word was “appalled”. Other words were terrifying, sickening and traumatic, just to name a few.

We then had a three hour conversation about who is at fault, who are the victims and how we can change it.

Of course, we talked about how it is not all cops, but generally speaking, I now see why they are a big part of the problem.

I have always been a supporter of Black Lives Matter, but I now also see that there is true justification for the BLM movement that I had never seen before.

There is a real reason why some sports players refuse to stand for the National Anthem. And in all honesty, I don’t know if I could even stand up for it at this point. I don't know I would ever stomach standing up and singing about how we are the land of the free, when half of it's citizens walk in fear each day.

When I see change, I will stand, and I know many more will too.

This book changed my life. It changed me in ways I didn’t know that I could. It enlightened my life and inspired me to do more, say more and write more.

We all need to do our part to spread awareness and show cause for concern.

I will end with a moment I had with a friend after Claudia Rankine’s reading.

Both of us were crying and sharing how we felt about it all, and she brought up that she wished her parents had said more about the problem when she was a kid, and it got me thinking about my childhood. I of course, wish I had been told about the real struggle my classmates would have to face, but I was thinking of something different. So I looked at her with tears in my eyes as I old her this:

I remember going to a child therapist at about seven years old, and being asked what kind of super power I would want. I gave the cliché answer “I wish I could fly so I can fly away from my worries”. As I continued to look at my friend, I apologized for my answer. It was so selfish.

I do not wish to fly anymore.

The only super power I want is to go back and save those innocent lives that were taken, and protect those who will inevitably face the racial aggressions that happen every single day.

Unfortunately, superpowers don't exist, but I will stand and do my part in all my earthly and human power to make this world fair and kind.

Because THEY matter.

YOU matter.

WE MATTER.