This title might be somewhat misleading, also redundant, and for that I apologize. It’s misleading because there is no such thing as a “perfect perfectionist,” because no one is perfect. Yet, there are some of us who enjoy challenging this belief.
The point in time that I began to strive for perfection cannot be determined. However, ever since then, mediocrity hasn’t been an option. It’s not about others perceiving me as perfect; it’s an internal drive that forces me to be better, to do better. It’s this exact internal drive that places an immense amount of pressure on myself. Anxiety is a familiar “frenemy” of mine that always drops by to pay me a visit.
However, no matter how strong the desire is to achieve perfection, I never feel truly satisfied with my results. There is always something I could have done better or an action that would have improved my results.
These moments of disappointment have taught me to start accepting my best.
Alas, this lesson didn’t come through a moment of clarity, but through severe exhaustion. Anxiety had outstayed its welcome. Although I do believe in having a “go-getter” attitude, there must be a balance. When pressure becomes so exponentially overwhelming it’s time for change.
My hope through this diary entry of sorts is that my fellow imperfect perfectionists have their own realizations. You don’t have to stress yourself into an unresponsive state. Your best can be good enough. In fact, your best is good enough.
