2016 was no ones favorite year. It was marked with more lows then anything. It was the year America committed suicide with its Presidential Election. Just one thing after another everything claiming to be done in Gods name.

It was for me was the not the first time I questioned if God was real, that I believe is normal after a traumatic incident. But, in this moment, I cannot associate with Christians as they have made me realize, if their behavior makes them one, I cannot be. I cannot claim to be pro-life, watch someone innocently murdered and argue why they deserved it. I cannot claim to be pro-life knowing there are people without clean water for 3 years, and the people who are supposed to be fixing it are ignoring it, refusing to even take it to their houses. Since when does this make sense?

During late spring I was attending a church with my family consistently and it was awesome. I was raised in a church and my dream had always been for my husband to be to go with me because my dad never did. So one Sunday we were sitting there and the pastor makes a rude comment about the transgender bathroom taking over headlines at the time. I couldn't believe what he said, my husband, knowing how I feel about those things, immediately looked at me and asked me if I wanted to leave. People were cheering and laughing. I just sat there in total disgust.

The reason why I started attending this church was because my first visit resulted in the entire church praying for those effected by abortions. I couldn't believe it, a non-judgmental approach on the subject in church. I was stunned.

So, fast forward a year later, I was extremely thrown off by the comment about transgenders. I went home thought about it and decided it was just a random thing. Couple weeks later I go back we go for a few more weeks before another comment is made. Again I sit there while people cheer and laugh but this time I know what I have to do.

You see even as a Christian even if you feel it's "not normal" or "mental illness" you still do not treat people that way. If it's something you feel they need prayer to "get through" then why laugh and ostracize them? You mean, in a church with thousands of people every weekend, you tell me there's not one person directly effected by this subject? That's not how this works it's not how any of this works. The people laughing are also the people who think Jesus was a fair skinned blue eyed man.

So, given what I've seen from Christians in this past year alone, let's not count all the other years I've seen nonsense go on. Clearly I was doing it wrong all along anyways. Yes, God is still my savior and I still believe Jesus was his son. I will not however associate myself with people that claim pro life while watching a 12 year old get shot by police not following protocol and say it was his fault. I will not associate myself with people saying they are Christians while they abuse and mistreat every person who doesn't believe the same as them. I will also not be associated with people who defend men who constantly get accused by different women for sexual assault, brag about it and say it's OK because God says he is forgiven.

None of this is normal and I will not treat it as such. I'd rather do what's right rather than what's accepted. When you think about it Jesus wasn't always widely accepted either to me he still isn't. What the religion has turned into is not what it was founded on. Jesus walked amongst the whores and the misfits not the kings and their courts. Churches have become a place for doctors instead of the wounded and in need.

I know a few people that were around me growing up will have something to say about this and my response is very simple love your neighbor and treat them well. Don't just say you are because God knows your heart just as he knows mine. If I'm wrong then I will answer for mine just as you have to answer for yours. I can live with that and I hope you can live with yours.