"I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws." Psalm 119:30

I never used to tell people I was Christian because I was afraid that I would be judged.

I would make up excuses; say I used to go to church or that I didn't really believe in anything. When really, I knew. I just hid it.

But why?

On my last trip to the Island of Hispaniola, I had a fair amount of free time to write in my journal, which in turn, got me to do a lot of thinking.

At one point, during the four-hour car ride to our hotel, everyone in our van was asleep except me and Jack, my best friend and the driver. I looked around at everyone peacefully sleeping, the palm trees in the sunset whipping by my window, and Jack focused intently on the road ahead. I was suddenly taken by an overwhelming feeling of what I can only describe as pure faith and happiness. I almost burst into tears right then and there; it was so powerful. I was slightly unnerved because I wasn't sure exactly what brought on such an episode, but all I could think about was how I could feel God all around me.

I'll admit, it sounds cliche, and it probably is. But it felt so real. At that moment, I felt as if I knew God and His love were real. There's something about this island that makes you believe. It's as if there's this holiness settled over the country like a blanket. It's impossible to explain.

Fast forward to the roof of our hotel. It was flat so you could walk all over it. It's on a hill so it overlooks the entire street and huge portions of the mountains. At night, you could lie down and look at all the stars your heart desired. Just looking out at the view was enough to make me feel closer to God. After a full day of teaching, singing, and dancing with children, this was the thing that solidified the hope I felt.

After working in both the DR and Haiti, I wrote in my journal: "It is getting easier for me to see God in most things. In the land, in the children, in the people I work with, in the work we do, and in the stars I'm sitting under."

Even now, back in the states, I view things in a more positive light. I feel like I can do so much more than before. And most importantly, I can admit that I am a Christian.

There is no reason to ever be ashamed in what you believe. No matter what it is.

So to anyone out there struggling to come to terms with what's inside, know that there are people out there who struggled just like you. And that they have come to peace with who they are and what their soul trusts