As I was driving down the road today, I heard a song on the radio and the lyrics spoke to me.
“So I’ll stop living off of how I feel, and start standing on Your truth revealed. Jesus is my sword, my shield, and He has never failed me.”
Feelings are to be validated, but they are not always truth. They are felt so powerfully, but can sometimes be complete lies.
I feel unlovable. I feel unfixable. I feel like a waste. I feel disgusting. I feel like if people see the parts of my life, the messy, unedited, "no filter", real stuff that I have been hiding for so long, they would run away as fast as they can.
These feelings have led to broken relationships and isolation in my life. In my mind it has always been easier for me to burn bridges with anyone who tries to get close to me, rather than let them see my struggles. Recently, one thing I have been trying to remember is this...
The people who understand my struggles, or at least want to understand them, will accept me just as I am.With that being said, there will undoubtedly be people who reject you. Whether it is intentional or unintentional. Do not despair, that does NOT mean that those who rejected you is a reflection of how everyone thinks of you. At every age in life there will always be people who speak just to tear others down. Just because they treat you poorly does NOT mean you deserve it.
How people treat others says a lot about them as a person. I understand this, but for some reason when it comes to how people treat me I tend to blame myself, or take it as an accurate measurement of my worth. This could not be any farther from true though. Someone else's bad choices are not my responsibility, or a reflection of who I am.
Who am I? Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Who am I?
I think those are extremely valid questions that we all ask ourselves on a daily basis. The problem with those questions is who are we asking them to? Are we asking ourselves who we think we are? Well, in most cases, our ever-changing feelings are going to distort our view of who we actually are. Plus, most of us define ourselves based on accomplishments at school and work, how super awesome we are at our hobbies, and what we have achieved in life. The issue there is if we look to those things to figure out who we are we will NEVER be enough. You don't have to change the question of "Who am I?" All you need to do is change who you are asking the question to. Add one word to the beginning of that question...
" God, who am I?"
With that, you go from "never enough" to having victory and wholeness in who God says you are.
I am a child of God."To all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God." -John 1:12
I am a friend of Jesus.
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father, I have made known to you." - John 15:15
I am Redeemed.
"All are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." - Romans 3:24
"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins in accordance with the riches of God's grace." - Ephesians 1:7
I am set free.
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of bondage." - Galatians 5:1
I am chosen.
"In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will." - Ephesians 1:11
I am His Beloved.
"Let the beloved of The Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one The Lord loves rests between his shoulders." - Deuteronomy 33:12
You are complete in Jesus Christ. Whatever it is that holds you back or continuously drags you down, choose to be stronger than it is. Choose bravery. Choose to live freely, out of bondage, and in the light of Christ instead of hiding in fear. Find peace in this: CHRIST HAS WON. He has already fought the battle, and received the victory. He has broken every chain and conquered every fear. All we have to do is be still and trust in Him.
