It was a tough first week back to school. It did not help that winter break was the most relaxing 3 weeks of my life. It also did not help that I was coming back to school with high hopes for many adventures in the semester ahead. Unfortunately, the semester did not begin as I planned. I was imaging a big welcome home with hugging and happiness. I would begin classes and get to know my professors quickly. I was excited to get back to work with my friends and the job that I loved. This is not how it happened. It was cold and rainy. Classes started up as if they had never ended with a harder work load then ever, and I fell twice on the ice. Work was stressful with new hires and big decisions coming my way. I spent the first couple of days of the semester unhappy and disappointed.
This was the moment when I had to decide how I would handle this unexpected turn of events. I continued in my week feeling a little lost and confused. I no longer had hope for the best semester yet, and was falling back into the same old routine of trudging to school, surviving work, and procrastinating homework. Then I made a decision.
Most people here will tell you that they decided that it did not matter what happened to them, they could decide to be happy. No matter how much it seemed that the world was out to get them, if they could change their attitude they suddenly conquered the world and were happy forevermore. I'm not going to say this, because its not true. Well, for me at least.
I think this concept is a little far fetched and difficult. I'm a human being! I have bad days and I overthink everything and I complain far more than I should. I couldn't just decide to be happy. I had to take action. I don't think that being happy involves a simple decision that will change your whole outlook on life. I think it takes a lot of learning about yourself and deciding to do things that make you happy.
This change of action was the reason I became a whole lot happier. I turned to God and began actively participating Institute classes. I worked to really come to know myself through Him, and am continuing to do this every morning as I read scripture. I also began doing things that are important to me. Small things such as coloring or drawing, or making playlists on Spotify. I took time to do things that make me happy and get out of the routine that had become my academic life. I no longer felt as if I was wasting my time on things that made me unhappy. By acting, I changed my thinking and found joy in the small things, and this carried to the everyday tasks I had to do. I have found a love in my job and learning again.
I chose to not choose to be happy. My happiness took more action than thought, and I think this is the best way to live your life. You should always be working to act in a way that makes you happy, instead of letting life act on you and pretending to be happy. Joy takes work, but in the end it is totally worth it.
