There's not a single question in my mind that I would be unwilling to answer. I am honest and open. From early on in my struggles with mental illness, I was also an advocate for mental health. In fact, long before the awareness pertained to myself, I was raising my voice.
This past spring, after my lowest point in life, I decided that I had one big choice to make. Was I going to take the low road and live a life that's devoted to my depression and anxiety, which could ultimately lead to death? Or was I going to choose life? When internally I felt as if all odds were against my chance at a healthier life, I chose life. I chose life, and I will never stop choosing life.
In the past few months I have experienced and learned countless things that I am forever grateful for. I turned seventeen, reconnected with old friends, fell in love, started my senior year of high school, and am continuously involving myself in the community.
I'm not certain if it is more of a compliment, a remark of disbelief, or simply someone with no prior experience/knowledge of mental health, when someone says, "Someone who has been through so much should not be doing so well already."
Surely, it was no quick trip to find myself where I am today. In means of days and months, yes my progress has been outstanding, but all of the years that even led up to my lowest point were filled with lessons and mechanisms I still use. I am doing more than well. Most of the changes in my life started to occur in my health's favor when I began to believe that I was worthy of self-love, respect, and to be broken free from all the chains my past traumas had placed on me. I am surrounded by people that unconsciously prompt me to be a better person; I am forever challenged to be the best that I can be, because my friends and family love me that much. I'm beginning to love me too, and although it's briefly a foreign concept to me, it has been one of the most remarkable changes I've seen within myself.
So yes, from an outsider's perspective looking in, my journey may seem remarkable. However, very raw and very real.
This is me. I began to heal when I chose life. It's no longer even a decision to live- it seems practical and the way of life.
And for once I am so freaking in love with my life.
