Always Prioritize Yourself

Reminder: Choosing yourself is always the best option

Prioritizing "YOU" is not considered selfish.

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As obvious as it seems, choosing yourself is always the best option. I've been in a committed relationship where I had to decide between "us" or "me." I never wanted to be put in that position in the first place. Whether or not I liked it, I still had to choose to continue my future with the one I love or sacrifice "us" for the goals I've worked for all my life.

I worked really hard to get where I'm at today. I have ambitions, goals and will work above and beyond to reach them. However, life is a journey, things change, and you meet people along the way. Planned or not planned, others are now involved in my life but I still welcome them with open arms. Of course, entering a relationship I don't foresee the downfalls that may occur once in it. I am a person of compromise and I believe every issue can be resolved, but when the issues involved both our hopes and dreams, things didn't seem quite as clear anymore.


The choice was obvious, I prioritized myself. I knew that if I chose "me" rather than "us" I was not going to regret the decision. There are still so many things I wish to do and I would never forgive myself if I didn't see through my own goals. Like all things, choosing myself was easier said than done. I chose myself, my passions and my goals, but that doesn't mean I didn't cry my eyes out and eat ice-cream in my bed watching "The Fault in Our Stars." Sometimes the timing is just off, and you can't get everything you want.

I'm writing this to you, my awesome readers, to remind you that it's ok to prioritize yourself. Whether it's career or happiness, prioritizing yourself should not be seen as selfish. You are not selfish, and if anyone says otherwise, ignore them. There will be voices that tell you you're making the wrong decision, that you need the support, the love, and care from your significant other.

First off, that's not true. You have the support of your friends and family and no, you're not going to be alone forever. Also, I believe that real love is supporting one another especially when it comes to each other's dreams. I understand every couple is different but the relationship is most likely unhealthy if it involves an ultimatum. Just a thought.

At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. Don't let anyone make you feel like you NEED them, you WANT people to be a part of your life; there's a difference. If you're ever stuck at a crossroad where you do have to choose between you and them, remind yourself of how awesome you were before you even met them.

Cover Image Credit:

Nacha Promsatian

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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