Becoming Selfish: Why Putting Yourself First Is The Best Decision You'll Ever Make
Entertainment

Becoming Selfish: Why Putting Yourself First Is The Best Decision You'll Ever Make

When you put yourself first, happily ever after follows.

8881
WordPress

When you read this title, it probably comes off as a little deceiving. After all, why would someone be trying to encourage a quality that usually has such a negative connotation? HOW RUDE!

Well perhaps "selfish" isn't the best word to describe what I am trying to portray. The average person assumes that this truly is a trait to avoid, but becoming selfish does not always necessarily mean that you are disregarding others or being a bad person. Sometimes "selfish" is simply more about "self-love" and "self-worth."

People think that you can just randomly stumble into the perfect life or perfect relationship. But how can you live "happily ever after" if you aren't even happy with who you are? I am a firm believer that the only way you can truly be happy and healthy in your relationships with others is to first have a strong relationship with yourself. A sense of self-worth allows you to demand the treatment that you deserve, and forms a foundation for the way that you live the rest of your life.

So, throughout my life, these are the lessons I have learned about becoming selfish. It is not always an easy path to take, because selflessness and putting others first are traits that are highly romanticized. The key is finding balance, and here is how you may begin to do just that:

1. Believing in yourself and being self confident. When you work hard towards achieving a goal, whether academically, socially, physically, or in a career, you often seek the validation of others. This is human nature, and no one can ever completely eliminate the desire to have some sort of praise. However, it is more important to have faith in your abilities and to enter every opportunity saying, "I can do this, even if someone else has told me that I can't." Confidence is half the battle on the way to success, and no one else can create this self-esteem for you.

2. Not overthinking.We are all guilty of lying awake at night, imagining what we would have done differently, and analyzing every minor detail of our lives. It's hard to avoid, but sometimes it creates unhealthy inner tension. Becoming selfish means following your heart, but in a way that is healthy for you. Of course, many important decisions require thought, but often times, your gut feeling can be a good one. Follow your best judgment. Your conscience is telling you these things for a reason.

3. Don't be a pushover. How many times have you done something just because you are scared of disappointing people. There is a fine line between being loyal and responsible and letting yourself be walked all over like a welcome mat. People tend to take advantage of someone that never says no. When you entirely sacrifice your own wellbeing, you may also be sacrificing your integrity and your personal health. It's okay to do things that are out of your comfort zone, but it is also okay to say no before you bite off more than you can chew.

4. Don't feel guilty about cutting ties.Everyone you meet serves a certain purpose in your life. Some are meant to be lifelong, healthy companions, while others merely teach you an important lesson. If you feel like someone might be a bad friend, or is constantly putting you down, THEY PROBABLY ARE. You don't have to settle for toxicity in your relationships. People come and go, so trust your intuition. It has more value than you might think.

5. Find your individual standards of happiness.It is important to realize that "selfish" has a different definition for each person. If making other people happy makes you happy, that's fine. If being completely alone to binge-watch Netflix does the trick sometimes, then that's okay too. The moral is to live for yourself and to make decisions that make you feel fulfilled. When you begin to live for other people, and feel guilty about choices that benefit you, you have crossed a fine line. You can't please everyone, but you can please yourself and the people who care for you the most.

6. Remember to be open and receptive to others' feelings.Putting yourself first doesn't mean putting others last. You don't have to put someone down, hurt their feelings, or neglect them, just for your own gain, especially those who treat you well. "Selfish" in this sense doesn't mean making decisions that knowingly hurt someone on a personal level. You don't want to eliminate the desire to do good for others or to make them happy. You just cannot sacrifice your own wellbeing in the process.

At the end of the day, my personal version of "becoming selfish" involves finding your self-worth and making it a priority. It means letting go of things that make you feel less worthy or positive. All my life, I have been a criminal of putting myself last. But as I've gotten older, my eyes have been opened to the realities of life. It is an unfortunate truth that people often take advantage of someone who never knows when to say no. Once you learn how to draw that personal line, you can weed out the people around you who are only using you for insincere reasons.

Once you allow your inner happiness to blossom, and you self-love to become a priority, you will attract the right attention. Your friends, significant others, and family can never supplement this feeling because it comes from deep within your soul. Your sense of self-worth will radiate out and will allow you to prioritize in a way that will form the best, healthiest, most genuine relationships. Although we often see a damsel in distress being saved by a valiant knight, we forget that there are times when you must save yourself. Your happy ending is within reach, as long as your happiness starts with YOU.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

13 Father's Day Shirts Under $30 To Gift The Dad Wearing The Same Two Every Day In Quarantine

You've been begging him to change it up, and now he won't have a choice.

Let's be honest: most of our dads are wearing the same shirts today that they probably wore while changing our diapers and holding our hands as we learned to walk. Sure, we love them for it. But whether you're quarantined with him wearing the same two shirts on rotation every week, or every time you FaceTime him, you know what he'll be wearing before he answers the phone, he needs to add some new items to his wardrobe rotation.

And you know dads — they'll feel guilted into using practically anything you were to give them. But these shirts are sure-fire ways to get him to switch up his wardrobe, and he'll be more than excited to wear each and every one of them. Plus, most of them are under twenty dollars, so no harm in dropping more than a couple in to your cart and letting Dad have his pick of his favorites.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down (Virtually) With Hollis Tuttle To Talk About Coronavirus's Impact On The Wellness Industry

Just because coronavirus has greatly impacted the wellness industry doesn't mean wellness stops.

If you're anything like me, your weekly fitness classes are a huge part of your routine. They keep me fit, healthy, and sane. Honestly, these classes help my mental health stay in tip-top shape just as much as they help my physical health.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, gyms and fitness studios are facing temporary closure. Yes, this means my personal routine is thrown a curveball, but this also means the wellness industry is one of many that is looking at unemployment and hardship. Do I miss my Monday spin class? Of course. But do the wellness professionals whose worlds were flipped upside down have a lot more to overcome than a slight change of routine? Absolutely. Thankfully, if anyone can prove the ultimate flexibility, it's the wellness industry.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

My Boyfriend Has Changed Since Quarantine Began, And I Don't Know What To Do

"All he says is 'I love you,' which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him."

Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

Dear Swoonie B,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, which has been the best year of my life (as far as i know). Well we go to different schools and are both very involved in sports and school activities which makes it hard to see each other. During this quarantine it is especially hard. Since we haven't seen each other in over a week things are kind of tense. He won't really talk to me much and I always check in on him to make sure he is doing well and to just see how he is, ya know being a girlfriend. Well apparently that is driving him crazy and I don't understand how. I'm not being controling or clingy, i'm just checking in on him. While this is happening, I also have noticed how he just doesn't really care anymore. I'll leave him paragraphs of sweet love letters to wake up to and I encourage him throughout his day but I just don't get it in return. I love him with all of me and I obviously care about him a lot. Also, I've compared how he talked to me before all of this has happened. He was so sweet and caring, texting me a lot and telling me he loves me and just making sure everything is OK but he doesn't do that anymore. All he says is "I love you," which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him. He is a little stressed at home with trying to find another job to pay for his car, constantly having to do things for his mom, being responsible for his siblings, and managing school. I know thats a lot but im doing a lot too right now and going through a lot of the same stuff he is but It seems to me he just does not care and i don't know what to do. Please help me or give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do. Anything at this point will help. Thank you!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "these are unprecedented times," I'd be rich. But that's because it's true!

Keep Reading... Show less
Tower 28

On paper, Amy Liu appears to be one of the most intimidating women in the beauty business. Not only did she launch her beauty marketing career at legendary Smashbox Cosmetics, she went on to lead luxury, high-end brands like Kate Somerville and Josie Maran — just to name a few.

But sitting down to meet Liu for the first time in an underground New York bar over a year ago felt like meeting a friend I'd known since childhood. As she walked into the bar in a chic red dress, it was impossible not to feel her immediate warm presence. When she talks about her history as an entrepreneur (and truly, at heart, she always was one), you don't get the sense that she's selling you anything, though with her impeccable taste, I'd use anything that had her glowing review attached to it.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sixth grade was the year that you were allowed to participate in a school sport. This was what my friends and I had all been waiting for since we started middle school. I had already made the cheer team with my friends, but I had to wait to start that in the winter since we cheered for basketball. I really wanted to have some sort of activity in the fall, but I did not know what to do. Somehow, I decided to run cross country. Not really sure how I decided on a sport where it was quite literally just running. A few of my friends were doing it as well, so I knew it was going to be fun.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Working Out Every Day During Quarantine Helps Me Feel A Sense Of Control

Physical activity helps my mental health in a world that feels uncertain.

Before the pandemic, I exercised a handful of times a week at best. In quarantine, I've been exercising every single day. I don't want this article to be another spiel about how exercise "changed my life," and all the other cliches that health gurus use to convince others to work out more. Rather, I want to reveal that exercise is a tool that works for me because it boosts my mental health when I feel like the world is spiraling out of control.

Keep Reading... Show less

To say that 2020 has been a bit of a roller coaster is an extreme understatement. Who knew that this decade was going to start off like THIS!? Not me, not you, and not that sweet old lady who lives down the street. One thing is certain though — while the world may be a mess right now, you can still fuel your body with food that keeps you happy and healthy. Thankfully, as we are all spending more time inside, you can get healthy snacks delivered straight to your front door! Amazon has never been more convenient (and tasty).

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments