I Choose To Live For The Day

I Choose To Live For The Day

From the nights to the days, there is plenty to live for.
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I used to live for the nights. I lived for the times my friends and I would spend getting ready to go out for a night on the town. I lived for the nights that we may or may not have fully remembered. I lived for the lights in the city, lighting up the dark and shadowy night. I lived for the laughs and cries. I lived for the adrenaline and excitement that I felt buzzing around me everywhere I went.

I lived for the newly sparked conversations at the local bar. I lived for the horrible dance moves. I lived for the themed fraternity parties that occurred every weekend. I lived for the short walks home. I lived for the stories we would be able to tell the next day. I was living for the nights.

It might all sound exciting to you, maybe even relatable. I enjoyed it for a while, but things changed rather suddenly. It was no longer fun, but instead stressful and complicated. Nothing needs to be stressful and complicated, but it was becoming that very quickly. I may have enjoyed it, but I did not cherish it.

“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” - Philosopher Albert Camus

So instead, I choose to live for the days. I live for the start of a day when the sun is rising over the grand city skyline, reflecting its light off of every glass surface to brighten the sky. I live for the early morning walks across the Stone Arch Bridge, overlooking the St. Anthony Falls' roaring currents. I live for the long afternoons spent sitting in a quaint coffee shop with my closest friends chatting and doing school work. I live for dinners in the big kitchen with everyone there when we sit in our chairs after our meal talking for what seems to be hours.

I live for the late night movies we stream in our small, shared bedroom. I live for that feeling of crawling into my bed after a long and stressful day of classes. I live for the peace and serenity I feel as I listen to my latest music playlist on low while writing my daily journal entry detailing just about anything and everything going on in my life. I live for the quiet blanket of silence that covers the bedroom as my roommates all fall asleep.

I live for the calm and occasionally hectic days. I live for my friends, family, and myself. I live for this moment. I live for the awareness and happiness all mixed into one. I live for the now, not the past or the future. I live for the feelings of joy, love, adventure, and peace. I live for the feeling of life. I live for the day.

Cover Image Credit: Tia Lang

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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Stop Apologizing For Who You Are And Be Unapologetically You

"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person." -Gerard Way

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Role models are very important. Role models play a role in helping shape who you are, whether that be your parents, grandparents, church family, teachers, friends, or even celebrities. Many of your role models can be unapologetically themselves. Who wouldn't want a role model to be unapologetically themselves? You can have as many role models as you want, but the biggest role model you will ever have in your life is yourself. You can learn a lot from other people, but I guarantee you can learn more from yourself.

Whenever I have kids, I will teach them so many things, but the main thing I want them to learn is that it is okay to be yourself. It's okay to be yourself in a society that frowns upon uniqueness, creativity, equality, faithfulness, magnanimity, helpfulness, hard-workers, independence, love, optimism, self-confidence, and thoughtfulness. I was raised like this and I turned out okay, but I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. Our generation isn't perfect. The generation before us wasn't perfect. The generation after us won't be perfect. Society isn't perfect and they will never be perfect.

People in society think they are perfect and they practice perfection and grace, but really practice arrogance, belligerence, cruelty, cynicism, deceitfulness, dishonesty, foolishness, greed, impatience, jealousy, materialistic views, pessimism, thoughtlessness, unkindness, unreliability, untrustworthiness, and vagueness to the world.

This world is filled with bullies, but as Michelle Obama said, "When they go low, we go high."

Rise above the hate, rise above the pessimistic views, rise above and become the greatest that you can be. In the end, what matters is how you view yourself, not someone who you won't see in twenty years. Don't lose hope. Society will try and bring you down, but please remember to rise above it. Be unapologetically you.

Cover Image Credit:

@hannahg11/Instagram

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