Recently, I saw a cartoon strip that explained why ideas that are commonly associated with chivalry are unintentionally sexist. It claimed that when a man offers to hold a door for a woman, offers to help her with heavy bags, or offers a jacket when a woman is cold, he is actually showing latent sexist attitudes. By taking these actions, the man is forcing himself into the woman’s space and making her acknowledge him when she may not want to.

Before I discuss the idea that I just explained, I first want to say that I, as a woman, am all for feminism in its true sense. I am for women being offered equal protection as men when in the same situations, and I am all for women being paid equally to men for preforming the same work. In my opinion, that is just being logical, not advocating for anything. However, today feminism has branched out, and some of the branches tend to be more hurtful than helpful. The situation that I described in the opening paragraph falls under the branch that I would consider more hurtful to the advancement of women’s rights.

I will start with the opening the door for a woman argument. The particular cartoon that I saw, and this is the opinion of a lot of women too, claims that when a man opens a door for a woman, he is forcing the woman to either acknowledge the man or to ignore him and be deemed rude and selfish. First of all, as a woman, I have never felt patronized or like a man was forcing me to acknowledge him when he has opened a door for me. At the very least, I mindlessly say “thank you” to the man and continue with my day like a normal person does whenever anyone does something polite. I also may say “thank you” and then think to myself, “that was a polite gesture.” When a man opens a door for a woman, perhaps he is just being polite and was taught manners. Perhaps he thinks the woman is attractive and wants her to talk to him. Either way, the woman who has the door opened for her should not feel offended. The last time I checked, being considered attractive isn't a bad thing, and as long as the man doesn't follow the woman or do anything to make her uncomfortable, I highly doubt he is trying to “force his way into her space.”

While I understand that some women argue that it's patronizing when a man offers to help them with mundane tasks, I think the entire argument here undermines true sexism. The vast majority of men do not open doors for women because they feel that women are “inferior” to men. The vast majority of men open doors for women because their parents raised them to be polite and respectful to everyone (not just to women). By saying that this act of kindness is underlying sexism, men become bitter. With bitterness comes true sexism—the thought that all women are cold and don’t appreciate nice gestures. This is what leads a new generation of young men to feel that women don’t deserve their respect.

While I understand that my opinion of chivalry may not be popular, I feel that this is a small problem that has created many issues with the way the sexes interact. If a man is kind enough to pause to hold the door for you, just thank him and move on with your day. Odds are, he didn’t mean to condescend you and if he did, good for you, because you just moved on with your day and didn’t give him the satisfaction of bothering you. Odds are, he did not mean to aggressively push his way into your life, and as long as he didn’t do anything to make you feel uncomfortable or disrespected, he didn’t get what he wanted anyway. Ladies, be grateful when a man is polite enough to help you out. He isn’t sexist; he’s just one of the respectful people left in our generation.