The Lack Of Manners In Today's Society

The Lack Of Manners In Today's Society

Didn't your parents teach you right?
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Recently, I have been blinded by the sheer lack of manners of people in today's society. All around me, I am surrounded by rude people with no regard for the safety, concern or respect of the people who are around them and it makes me question their upbringing. Sadly, this world has become a very dark place to live in, and I feel like you cannot trust anyone. The more I look around at this world, I feel like people only have one thing they want to look out for: themselves.

I want to remind people of some pretty basic manners. I feel like civilization has forgotten and in return has created a downfall. Without manners and love for one another, this world will get darker and darker. Here are a list of some of the most forgotten manners that need to be reintroduced into today's society for better community living.

Saying "Please" and "Thank you."

I feel like this was the very first set of manners I was taught when I was a child and yet, this is the most unused set of manners today! I walk around the cafeteria at my college and hear fellow students demand something without a please or a thank you. To be honest, it makes me want to smack them upside the head! Did your parents forget to teach you the core basics of respect? It might be that person's "job" to retrieve you whatever it was you asked for; however, it is not their job to do it in any time fashion. You could ask for a side of ranch and they could take 15 minutes -- however, you ask for a side of ranch please, that waiter/waitress might bring that ranch a lot faster.

Saying please and thank you takes an extra two breaths and is more respectful. That person you are showing respect to is a human just as you are, and therefore, they deserve manners just like you do.

Holding the door open for others.

My parents taught me that you are to hold the door for anyone -- it does not matter who they are: black, white, purple, green, male, female, young, old, baby, someone you love or someone you hate. You show respect to someone no matter what and you hold the door open. Period.

Today, I find it rare that the door is held open for me. I am a female. I do like the ideals of some of the modern feminist ideas -- however, this is not one of them. If you see me coming, hold the door open for me. I do not care if you are a male or a female, hold the door. I know I have arms, but so do you -- it's called respect.

Saying, "Excuse me."

Life is a beginning and an end with a lot of hustle and bustle in the middle. I get it, life is crazy during the in between, and people are typically running around like crazy dogs running away from a dog catcher. What I do not understand is why we as a society have lost the art of using the words "excuse me" when trying to get around someone or when we bump into someone. Since when did it become okay to run into someone and act like almost taking off that poor innocent person's arm did not matter to you? Oh yeah -- it never has.

Telling someone, "Bless you."

According to gotquestions.org, saying "bless you" to someone has many different backgrounds. The most thought of origin came from illness. In 590 AD, Italy suffered a horrible plague and the Pope issued a law that stated that whenever someone sneezed, people were to say "God bless you" and make the cross over their mouths, in hopes to keep the person from catching the plague.

Because a sneeze was a symptom of the plague, people who heard another sneeze and said "God bless you" took interest in the person's life. So today, when someone sneezes, and someone says "bless you," they are taking an interest as well. They want the person to know that they wish them well. While this seems like a minor act, it is an act that can go a long way for someone.

Using eye contact.

Maybe it is just me, but something that can really irritate me faster than being cut off in traffic is when someone does not make eye contact with me while having a conversation. Eye contact is key to any good conversation. It allows the person you are communicating with to know that you are interested in what they have to say and that you value their time. Therefore, when you have a conversation with someone, look them in the eyes and let them know you value their time and what they have to say.

Waiting your turn.

Like I said before, I know life is busy. There is just one thing I want to clarify with everyone. Your life is busy, but so is everyone else's. I have things within my life that I have to do that require urgency and I know you do as well. Life is about waiting though. Patience is a virtue, or so they say. You wait to go to school. You wait to graduate. You wait to get married and have kids. You wait to retire. Wait. It is within the waiting that you find that life is actually happening and your life is worthwhile.

Using someone's PROPER title.

The use of someone's proper title is so important in today's society, especially if someone has their PhD. I cannot tell you the lectures I have heard professors tell their students about the amount of hours they put in for their degrees and how they are important to them.

And this concept goes beyond the PhD title. If someone is married or divorced, those titles matter as well. Calling someone a Ms. when they are are truly a Mrs. can make someone upset. Make sure you know someone's title before you address them.

Basic respect for one another.

I don't know if it's just me, or if it has always been like this, but I feel like the level of rudeness that people have toward one another has escalated from a level one to threat level. Since when did it become okay for everyone to talk about each other? Since when did it become okay for others to use one another to climb their way to the top of the social ladder? When did the basic instinct of human compassion leave each of our hearts and we all become so selfish. I know, you might think that these are not manners, but they are. The definition of manners is the way a person acts toward one another. So when did our ideal standards of manners become ignorance?

Ladies first.

I stated earlier that I agree on some of the ideas of the feminist movement. However, for the most part, I am a true believer of the old fashioned ways. I believe in a man paying for the first few dates (and then lady, you better ask if you can pay!). I believe that a man should come to the door when he picks up a lady. I believe that a man should hold the door open for a female and open her car door. Ladies, by allowing a man to do this, it does not make you weak, it makes them more chivalrous -- it makes you a lady.

I think that with the rise of the feminist movements (and don't get me wrong, I want equal pay and other equal rights as men), I think women have lost their ability to allow a man to pamper them and to be spoiled to a degree. Today, a woman thinks she is weak if a man gets the door for them. You aren't. Let him get that door for you. This is not a sign of your weakness but a sign of his respect.

Modest is hottest.

I have four words for the women of today: put your clothes on. I am deeply saddened when I walk out the door and I notice women with their chests exposed and with their bottoms hanging out. I joke with my best friend that if the woman sneezes too hard, she will lose her bottom right out of her shorts -- and the sad thing is that the statement is the truth. Ladies, I want to tell you the honest truth. If a man is going to love you, he will love and respect you for the woman you are, not the way you dress. You shouldn't be dressing like a woman of the night trying to make a quick dollar when you are going to church to praise the Lord. That is not the kind of woman you want to be, or the kind or woman you want your future daughter to be.

Men, if you see women like this, do not engage. If a woman is dressing like this, she is damaged and is in serious need of help. She doesn't respect herself or you if she is dressing like that.

Respect yourself. Respect others, and dress to impress.

Proper sidewalk etiquette.

Back in the "olden days," it was proper for a man to escort a female wherever they went for her safety. It was also custom for a male to walk on the outside of the road and have the female toward the buildings. This kept the females safe from flying fecal matter from buildings above, or sewage from the road that could splash the lady's dress.

Today, I think that concept still applies. I think that men should be escorting a female wherever they can if possible. The world we live in is full of hate and sorrow, murder and despair, and there is death all around us. Be safe and take precautions when walking with someone you care about. Traditions may seem old -- however, they can always be revamped to fit modern day ideals.

Proper table manners.

If you don't know proper table manners by now, I have to wonder about your upbringing. Are you actually a caveman? I am going to make this short and sweet because these are things that cannot be debated on.

No chewing with your mouth open. Keep your elbows off the table. Do not reach in front of others' plates. Don't talk with your mouth full. Ask to be excused from the table. Keep all "natural gases" and slurps inside your body at all times.

If you have questions about these table manners, feel free to ask your grandparents. I guarantee they will teach you some manners, because mine sure did.

While there are thousands of manners we could be discussing, I feel these are the most important in today's society. Without manners and respect, this world has nothing. We must all learn the art of respect toward one another again to live in harmony once again.

Cover Image Credit: pathways.org

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'After Every Shooting' Are Words That Are Normal To The American Vocabulary In 2018

How un-American it is to turn our backs on our fellow countrymen
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I struggle to understand why my headline is one I have to enter for my article this week. “After every shooting” should not be something that is normal to utter, but for the average American, it is.

It is February of 2018, and we have already had over 20 mass shootings this year. In a decade, I wonder if I will look back and be pleased that we have made progress to right this wrong in our society. But I fear with my entire heart that in a decade or so, I’ll simply look at the son or daughter I hope to have with fear as they start their lives. Will they be the next victim?

From where I sit I have to remind myself that I could be the next victim -- or my little brother, my sister, my cousin, my parents, my boyfriend, or my best friend. We could all be the next victim. And yet here we sit, a few days after a mass tragedy, and all I can hear are the careless mutters.

“It isn’t all about guns, I think we need to think about mental health.”

“Gun control is important but that wasn’t the entire problem.”

“It didn’t work in other countries, we can’t take away everyone’s guns.”

And then our careless president seems to lack any sense of logic as he tweets about how this shooting was something we could have prevented.

I watched a video of one of the victims. She roared into the microphone at a press conference. She saw her life flash before her eyes. We need to all get into a place where we can simply begin to fathom what she and her peers feel like. We need to be red with anger because this isn’t about light conversation and sobering curiosity at what to do, this is about gun control.

If you’re going to open your mind and stick with me, I would appreciate it immensely.

Why is this about gun control? Because with every single mass shooting, we go through this. The gun lobby and the right-wing representatives and senators will not so much as budge at the loss of children’s lives because of this centuries-old right to protect ourselves. But every time this happens, we go back into the same cycle.

No, gun control won’t work. We can’t fix this that way. That isn’t what we’ll do. We'll ponder, sit, talk about it briefly, and then get back to other work. And then we have a shooting.

This time it must be different. It must be a different fight. Because here is what politicians need to understand -- if you are elected, by the people and for the people, you will step, you will run across the aisle to compromise when lives are lost.

Otherwise, you are not doing your job. You are not fulfilling the duty you swore an oath to fulfill. If you, as a leader, as a politician, or even as an ordinary person, uncomfortable by the conversations that come about after every damn mass shooting, cannot for a second give gun control a chance and see what say, more background checks, fewer rights, changes to open-carry laws, would entail and how that would impact your life, you are the problem.

The people that fight so aggressively against gun control are hell-bent on keeping their guns to defend themselves and want to be these strong-willed, larger than life, gun owners who have immense pride in their firearm. Great, power to them.

But if you can’t for a second consider the pride you could find in compromise, the pride that comes from knowing when you might need to learn or rethink, or the pride that comes from truly being the bigger person and giving someone else’s idea a chance, then you aren’t a cool, strong, patriotic gun owner after all.

The most patriotic is the person who is willing to step up and think, understand, and fight for the lives of kids. Kids that are America’s future.

I’m simply sick and tired of people defending inanimate objects over the shattered pieces of families that are to be memorialized and buried in the coming days or that will live with grief forever.

I’m sick and tired of the media and politicians contemplating what we should do and how to fix things.

I’m sick and tired of waiting for politicians to give gun control a chance because of its proven benefits. If kids aren’t your priority or one of them, resign before you get voted out.

I think I speak for everyone when I say I am sick and tired of excuses.

And finally, I’m just sick at the idea that families are in the trenches of grief, sorrow, and utter brokenness as I type this. I can’t imagine the pain. And I can’t imagine how we aren’t doing anything to solve this.

We are witnessing how broken the political and social foundation of America is right now. Turn on the news, look around you. The founding fathers and the heroes, the change-makers who fought and died for our great country would be ashamed to say the very least that we have done nothing.

How unamerican it is to turn our backs on our fellow countrymen -- the kids who died in Florida last week. How truly unamerican.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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We Need Gun Control And We Need It Now

How many more innocent people need to die before we decide enough is enough?
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Tragedy struck once again this Valentine’s Day. This time it took place in Parkland, Florida, which was ironically named Florida’s safest city in 2017.

People woke up and went to work or school like every other routine day. Little did we know that 17 students and staff would walk through the doors of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School that day and never come back out.

Nikolas Cruz, a 19-year-old terrorist, reportedly pulled out a semiautomatic AR-15 rifle and opened fire in the hallways and classrooms of the school.

Notice how I called him a terrorist because… well... that’s exactly what he is. A terrorist. None of this “orphaned 19-year-old with a troubled past” bullshit.

If he had any other skin tone people wouldn’t even think twice about calling him anything else.

According to Florida statute, terrorism is defined as “a violent act or an act dangerous to human life which is a violation of the criminal laws of this state or the United States... and is intended to intimidate, injure, or coerce a civilian population”. So there you have it, no more excuses.

Since this shooting occurred, three out of the 10 deadliest mass shootings in modern US history have taken place within the last five months.

According to data from the Gun Violence Archive, on average there have been five school shootings each month. FIVE SCHOOL SHOOTINGS EACH MONTH.

Since the Sandy Hook shooting took place in 2012, there have been at least 239 school shootings across the nation where 438 people were shot and 138 were killed. Yet our government officials can’t seem to accept the obvious problem at hand: guns.

Our own president couldn’t even admit that guns are a problem. Instead, he decided to focus on the fact that the shooter had mental health issues that weren’t reported to the authorities.

While poor mental health is also an important issue that needs attention, we can't use it to hide from the obvious.

Also, if I remember correctly, Mr. Trump, didn’t you just sign a bill in February 2017 making it easier for mentally ill people to buy a gun?

How many more innocent people need to die before we decide enough is enough? Literally, nothing is being done by Congress to put a stop to this gun violence and it is utterly absurd.

After Sandy Hook, President Obama tried to reinforce bans on assault weapons that were in place between 1994 and 2004, but Congress wouldn’t pass it again since the Columbine shooting in 1999 still managed to occur with the ban in place.

So you know, even though the number of mass shootings was reduced tremendously during the ban, one still happened so it’s only smart throw the whole ban away and have absolutely nothing in place to help!

Since the ban on assault weapons expired, the following 10 deadliest mass shootings in modern US history have occurred:

April 16, 2007 - Blacksburg, VA - Seung-Hui Cho opens fire on the Virginia Tech campus killing 32 people

April 3, 2009 - Binghamton, NY - Jiverly Wong opens fire on an immigrant community center killing 13 people and injuring 4

November 5, 2009 - Fort Hood, TX - Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan opens fire on an American military base killing 13 people and injuring 32

July 20, 2012 - Aurora, CO - James E. Holmes opens fire in a movie theater killing 24 people

December 14, 2012 - Newtown, CT - Adam Lanza opens fire in Sandy Hook Elementary School killing 20 children and 6 adults

September 16, 2013 - Washington D.C. - Aaron Alexis opens fire in the Washington Navy Yard killing 12 people

December 2, 2015 - San Bernardino, CA - Syed Rizwan Farook and Tasheen Malik open fire at Inland Regional Center killing 14 people

June 12, 2016 - Orlando, FL - Omar Saddiqui Mateen opens fire inside of Pulse nightclub killing 49 people and injuring more than 50

October 1, 2017 - Las Vegas, NV - Stephen Paddock opens fire at a crowd of 22,000 concertgoers killing 58 people and injuring nearly 500

November 5, 2017 - Sutherland Springs, TX - Devin Patrick Kelley opens fire on a small church killing 25 people and an unborn child and injuring 20

If you can look at this list and for some reason still think we don’t need stricter gun laws then you, my friend… you are part of the problem.

No offense (full offense actually), but children’s rights to feel safe and not have to worry about being murdered at school are more important than your right to own whatever type of gun you want.

The same goes for people attending a concert or church. These are all places that are meant to be a safe zone. Unless you’re serving in the military to protect our country, there is quite literally no reason at all why you need to own an assault weapon. It’s as simple as that.

When it comes to events like these, thoughts and prayers are always good but we can’t just pray and debate with our friends on social media and then forget about it later when nothing is done.

We need to stop falling into the same cycle over and over again.

We need change.

We need gun control.

We need it now.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter

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