The Lack Of Manners In Today's Society

The Lack Of Manners In Today's Society

Didn't your parents teach you right?
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Recently, I have been blinded by the sheer lack of manners of people in today's society. All around me, I am surrounded by rude people with no regard for the safety, concern or respect of the people who are around them and it makes me question their upbringing. Sadly, this world has become a very dark place to live in, and I feel like you cannot trust anyone. The more I look around at this world, I feel like people only have one thing they want to look out for: themselves.

I want to remind people of some pretty basic manners. I feel like civilization has forgotten and in return has created a downfall. Without manners and love for one another, this world will get darker and darker. Here are a list of some of the most forgotten manners that need to be reintroduced into today's society for better community living.

Saying "Please" and "Thank you."

I feel like this was the very first set of manners I was taught when I was a child and yet, this is the most unused set of manners today! I walk around the cafeteria at my college and hear fellow students demand something without a please or a thank you. To be honest, it makes me want to smack them upside the head! Did your parents forget to teach you the core basics of respect? It might be that person's "job" to retrieve you whatever it was you asked for; however, it is not their job to do it in any time fashion. You could ask for a side of ranch and they could take 15 minutes -- however, you ask for a side of ranch please, that waiter/waitress might bring that ranch a lot faster.

Saying please and thank you takes an extra two breaths and is more respectful. That person you are showing respect to is a human just as you are, and therefore, they deserve manners just like you do.

Holding the door open for others.

My parents taught me that you are to hold the door for anyone -- it does not matter who they are: black, white, purple, green, male, female, young, old, baby, someone you love or someone you hate. You show respect to someone no matter what and you hold the door open. Period.

Today, I find it rare that the door is held open for me. I am a female. I do like the ideals of some of the modern feminist ideas -- however, this is not one of them. If you see me coming, hold the door open for me. I do not care if you are a male or a female, hold the door. I know I have arms, but so do you -- it's called respect.

Saying, "Excuse me."

Life is a beginning and an end with a lot of hustle and bustle in the middle. I get it, life is crazy during the in between, and people are typically running around like crazy dogs running away from a dog catcher. What I do not understand is why we as a society have lost the art of using the words "excuse me" when trying to get around someone or when we bump into someone. Since when did it become okay to run into someone and act like almost taking off that poor innocent person's arm did not matter to you? Oh yeah -- it never has.

Telling someone, "Bless you."

According to gotquestions.org, saying "bless you" to someone has many different backgrounds. The most thought of origin came from illness. In 590 AD, Italy suffered a horrible plague and the Pope issued a law that stated that whenever someone sneezed, people were to say "God bless you" and make the cross over their mouths, in hopes to keep the person from catching the plague.

Because a sneeze was a symptom of the plague, people who heard another sneeze and said "God bless you" took interest in the person's life. So today, when someone sneezes, and someone says "bless you," they are taking an interest as well. They want the person to know that they wish them well. While this seems like a minor act, it is an act that can go a long way for someone.

Using eye contact.

Maybe it is just me, but something that can really irritate me faster than being cut off in traffic is when someone does not make eye contact with me while having a conversation. Eye contact is key to any good conversation. It allows the person you are communicating with to know that you are interested in what they have to say and that you value their time. Therefore, when you have a conversation with someone, look them in the eyes and let them know you value their time and what they have to say.

Waiting your turn.

Like I said before, I know life is busy. There is just one thing I want to clarify with everyone. Your life is busy, but so is everyone else's. I have things within my life that I have to do that require urgency and I know you do as well. Life is about waiting though. Patience is a virtue, or so they say. You wait to go to school. You wait to graduate. You wait to get married and have kids. You wait to retire. Wait. It is within the waiting that you find that life is actually happening and your life is worthwhile.

Using someone's PROPER title.

The use of someone's proper title is so important in today's society, especially if someone has their PhD. I cannot tell you the lectures I have heard professors tell their students about the amount of hours they put in for their degrees and how they are important to them.

And this concept goes beyond the PhD title. If someone is married or divorced, those titles matter as well. Calling someone a Ms. when they are are truly a Mrs. can make someone upset. Make sure you know someone's title before you address them.

Basic respect for one another.

I don't know if it's just me, or if it has always been like this, but I feel like the level of rudeness that people have toward one another has escalated from a level one to threat level. Since when did it become okay for everyone to talk about each other? Since when did it become okay for others to use one another to climb their way to the top of the social ladder? When did the basic instinct of human compassion leave each of our hearts and we all become so selfish. I know, you might think that these are not manners, but they are. The definition of manners is the way a person acts toward one another. So when did our ideal standards of manners become ignorance?

Ladies first.

I stated earlier that I agree on some of the ideas of the feminist movement. However, for the most part, I am a true believer of the old fashioned ways. I believe in a man paying for the first few dates (and then lady, you better ask if you can pay!). I believe that a man should come to the door when he picks up a lady. I believe that a man should hold the door open for a female and open her car door. Ladies, by allowing a man to do this, it does not make you weak, it makes them more chivalrous -- it makes you a lady.

I think that with the rise of the feminist movements (and don't get me wrong, I want equal pay and other equal rights as men), I think women have lost their ability to allow a man to pamper them and to be spoiled to a degree. Today, a woman thinks she is weak if a man gets the door for them. You aren't. Let him get that door for you. This is not a sign of your weakness but a sign of his respect.

Modest is hottest.

I have four words for the women of today: put your clothes on. I am deeply saddened when I walk out the door and I notice women with their chests exposed and with their bottoms hanging out. I joke with my best friend that if the woman sneezes too hard, she will lose her bottom right out of her shorts -- and the sad thing is that the statement is the truth. Ladies, I want to tell you the honest truth. If a man is going to love you, he will love and respect you for the woman you are, not the way you dress. You shouldn't be dressing like a woman of the night trying to make a quick dollar when you are going to church to praise the Lord. That is not the kind of woman you want to be, or the kind or woman you want your future daughter to be.

Men, if you see women like this, do not engage. If a woman is dressing like this, she is damaged and is in serious need of help. She doesn't respect herself or you if she is dressing like that.

Respect yourself. Respect others, and dress to impress.

Proper sidewalk etiquette.

Back in the "olden days," it was proper for a man to escort a female wherever they went for her safety. It was also custom for a male to walk on the outside of the road and have the female toward the buildings. This kept the females safe from flying fecal matter from buildings above, or sewage from the road that could splash the lady's dress.

Today, I think that concept still applies. I think that men should be escorting a female wherever they can if possible. The world we live in is full of hate and sorrow, murder and despair, and there is death all around us. Be safe and take precautions when walking with someone you care about. Traditions may seem old -- however, they can always be revamped to fit modern day ideals.

Proper table manners.

If you don't know proper table manners by now, I have to wonder about your upbringing. Are you actually a caveman? I am going to make this short and sweet because these are things that cannot be debated on.

No chewing with your mouth open. Keep your elbows off the table. Do not reach in front of others' plates. Don't talk with your mouth full. Ask to be excused from the table. Keep all "natural gases" and slurps inside your body at all times.

If you have questions about these table manners, feel free to ask your grandparents. I guarantee they will teach you some manners, because mine sure did.

While there are thousands of manners we could be discussing, I feel these are the most important in today's society. Without manners and respect, this world has nothing. We must all learn the art of respect toward one another again to live in harmony once again.

Cover Image Credit: pathways.org

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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Pride? Pride.

Who are we? Why are we proud?

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This past week, I was called a faggot by someone close to me and by note, of all ways. The shock rolled through my body like thunder across barren plains and I was stuck paralyzed in place, frozen, unlike the melting ice caps. My chest suddenly felt tight, my hearing became dim, and my mind went blank except for one all-encompassing and constant word. Finally, after having thawed, my rage bubbled forward like divine retribution and I stood poised and ready to curse the name of the offending person. My tongue lashed the air into a frenzy, and I was angry until I let myself break and weep twice. Later, I began to question not sexualities or words used to express (or disparage) them, but my own embodiment of them.

For members of the queer community, there are several unspoken and vital rules that come into play in many situations, mainly for you to not be assaulted or worse (and it's all too often worse). Make sure your movements are measured and fit within the realm of possible heterosexuality. Keep your music low and let no one hear who you listen to. Avoid every shred of anything stereotypically gay or feminine like the plague. Tell the truth without details when you can and tell half-truths with real details if you must. And above all, learn how to clear your search history. At twenty, I remember my days of teaching my puberty-stricken body the lessons I thought no one else was learning. Over time I learned the more subtle and more important lessons of what exactly gay culture is. Now a man with a head and social media accounts full of gay indicators, I find myself wondering both what it all means and more importantly, does it even matter?

To the question of whether it matters, the answer is naturally yes and no (and no, that's not my answer because I'm a Gemini). The month of June has the pleasure of being the time of year when the LGBT+ community embraces the hateful rhetoric and indulges in one of the deadly sins. Pride. Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the figures at the head of the gay liberation movement, fought for something larger than themselves and as with the rest of the LGBT+ community, Pride is more than a parade of muscular white men dancing in their underwear. It's a time of reflection, of mourning, of celebration, of course, and most importantly, of hope. Pride is a time to look back at how far we've come and realize that there is still a far way to go.

This year marks fifty years since the Stonewall Riots and the gay liberation movement launched onto the world stage, thus making the learning and embracing of gay culture that much more important. The waves of queer people that come after the AIDS crisis has been given the task of rebuilding and redefining. The AIDS crisis was more than just that. It was Death itself stalking through the community with the help of Regan doing nothing. It was going out with friends and your circle shrinking faster than you can try or even care to replenish. Where do you go after the apocalypse? The LGBT+ community was a world shut off from access by a touch of death and now on the other side, we must weave in as much life as we can.

But we can't freeze and dwell of this forever. It matters because that's where we came from, but it doesn't matter because that's not where we are anymore. We're in a time of rebirth and spring. The LGBT+ community can forge a new identity where the AIDS crisis is not the defining feature, rather a defining feature to be immortalized, mourned, and moved on from.

And to the question of what does it all mean? Well, it means that I'm gay and that I've learned the central lesson that all queer people should learn in middle school. It's called Pride for a reason. We have to shoulder the weight of it all and still hold our head high and we should. Pride is the LGBT+ community turning lemons into lemon squares and limoncello. The lemon squares are funeral cakes meant to mourn and be a familiar reminder of what passed, but the limoncello is the extravagant and intoxicating celebration of what is to come. This year I choose to combine the two and get drunk off funeral cakes. Something tells me that those who came before would've wanted me to celebrate.

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