To my person,
Hey girl! It's been a while since we've talked. Like really talked.
And I miss you.
No matter how we ended, I will never forget how we begun. We were so young, so innocent, so naïve. We quickly latched on to each other. I admired you for being older, blunter, and more adventurous and daring than I ever could be. You pushed me to try new things, hold a gun for the first time (even if it wasn't the right way), tell people what I really thought, and taught me that sometimes words aren't necessary for relaying how we feel. We had so many long nights together, sharing our secrets, watching our favorite movie obsessions, and talking about our "dream" guys that we would definitely be married to by the time we were 23 (HA!). We had life all figured out and we knew no matter where it took us, we would always be there for the other.
Then, all of the sudden, things changed.
It started out slow. We were "too busy" to hang out and our conversations were so surface, it was as if we'd never met before. Then, the communication just stopped. I tried to reach out and it was like I was writing letters to someone long deceased. No response, no answers, and no more of what I thought was "us". I don't know why we ended in the abrupt way we did or what I did to end a decade of the best memories of our lives, but I thought I would take the time to say some things that if this ever reaches you, you should hear.
First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you. I'm sorry for not being the best influence as I went off to college. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel replaced by my new college friends and new activities. If I ever made you feel like I wouldn't be there for you, I apologize from the deepest part of me.
Secondly, thank you for all of the memories you gave me and the lessons you taught me. For all the late night belly laughs, the nights we cried together for hours because some boy hurt us, for listening to my rants that would never actually be said to the person intended, thank you so much. You were there for me in some of the hardest times of my life and I thank you for listening when no one else would. You taught me a lot too. You taught me how to be brave. You taught me that the unknown can be scary but it's definitely worth it. You taught me that sometimes, people are in our lives for a season and that it's ok when they walk away. That sometimes, there's nothing else we can do but hope they still cherish the memories you had together.
Thirdly, I love you and I always will. I will always have your back if someone ever was out to hurt you. If, God forbid, you were ever in a life or death situation, I'd be right by your side to hold your hand and pull you up. Because you're my person and you always will be. Nothing will ever end that for me.
While I don't agree with everything that was said or even how this ended at all, I will never forget you and all you've been to me. Years from now, you will be in my thoughts. I will come across that picture of us and show my kids and tell them about this amazing friend I had that I loved more than life. I will tell them that sometimes you lose friends and that it will be ok. Eventually, we'll both move on and find new, adult friends to build with and that's alright too. Because they weren't there when I was a ratty seven-year-old, they didn't see me in my clumsy, disproportionate phase, or hold me through ugly, cry phases in high school. That time will always belong to you. In the words of Taylor Swift, "long live all the magic we made".
I love you, girl!
Until we meet again,
Your former person
