“A Walk to Remember” is one of my favorite movies and always has been, but it really does truly suck. Before die-hard fans (notably my roommate) absolutely tear me up for this one, let me explain. Nicholas Sparks hit the head of the nail with this one, with his well-crafted story line and the perfectly fated ending. But the problem with “A Walk to Remember” and all the other beautiful chick flicks dealing with high school and college romances is how totally unbelievable they are for the hopeless romantics that exist in our hookup culture. I am the furthest thing from a cynic, I promise you, and my parents very well foreshadow the kind of love that Landon and Jamie have, and I do believe that true love exists in the world, but it doesn’t for kids in college. There are special exceptions (like the Lilys and Marshalls of the world), I will give you that, but Jam-don would never exist in today’s age. Landon would think Jamie was way too much work and would just go off and find someone new at a frat party. Nowadays, at least from a girl’s standpoint, it’s unrealistic to think that a guy you find in a frat basement is going to be the person you marry.

I want to reiterate that I am not a cynic. If anything, I am “true love's" biggest fan. I was the girl that loved Brit Lit in high school because how could you not fall in love with the characters that Hardy or Shakespeare perfectly cultivated? The romantics and other poets like Neruda are my absolute favorite because they make you feel like you’re standing out in the cold and their words are this huge blanket that comes over you and makes you feel warm. This isn’t uncommon, it’s part of human beings’ evolutionary adaptations—to feel safe when you’re with your partner. With that being said, I’ve dated guys that I know loved me and that I have loved back, but I am not one of those girls that feels like I need a guy to date in order to feel respected or to feel like I have a purpose in life. I liked having boyfriends because I operated really well that way. I liked that feeling of having my biggest fan, my best friend, and a safety net all in one so that I could focus on the big picture things that I needed to get done, not trifling things such as “Oh, I hope that cute guy in my Chem class notices me.” That’s never been a concern of mine, but it also has never been a concern of mine because I’ve always had a boyfriend. Now that I don’t, it’s interesting to see the little changes that happen subconsciously. I’ve just made sure to pay attention to them.

I loved “A Walk to Remember” back when I was in a relationship because I could really identify with the characters. And I thought I would hate it now that I wasn’t in a relationship anymore or that I would think it’s really cheesy and stupid simply because I was single, but that’s not it at all. It’s so unrealistic to the point where I feel like it builds up these high expectations of these high school/college boys that simply don’t exist anymore in this generation. And you can sit there and show me all of the couples that have made it or even point to your own parents (like I would), but the fact of the matter is…your parents didn’t grow up during our generation. They aren’t in college in 2015. “Tinder” was not a thing. The stigma of a “frat basement” also wasn’t a thing (the stigma of the “frat basement” I’m going for is not a random basement that just so happens to belong to guys in frats—the “frat basement” I’m referring to is the one where it’s so dark that you can’t see anything and so loud that your eardrums beg to you to get out). But I’m not going to sit here and write yet another article on how “expectations lead to disappointments” because that’s been said before. That’s something we all know. I’m just saying we have to change how upset we as girls get when we’ve been quote-on-quote “played.”

If you’re a girl in this day and age and you go to a frat party, hook up with a random guy in the frat but still get his number, it’s unrealistic to expect him to text you later for something other than what just transpired. Every girl in college hears about how “guys are only after one thing”— this is not a new phrase. This is something that has been reiterated time and time again. The problem is girls who think they’re going to change these guys’ minds. No! Stop doing that. If this bothers you, stop going to a party, hooking up with a random guy, and expecting anything “deep” to come out of it.

Of course, this is circumstantial. There are certain environments where certain expectations are set in place. In the environment of a frat party, you probably aren’t going to meet your husband. But sit back and think—do you really want to? I have seen numerous girls get so upset over these frat guys that aren’t reciprocating their feelings, but I can’t help but not feel bad sometimes. What were you expecting? If you really want to find the right person, maybe go to a different environment altogether. Give off the proper energy. Put yourself out there. Do new things. But seeing a girl get upset over a guy that operates in the stigmatized "fratstar" mindset in his stigmatized frat-basement-lair shouldn't be a thing anymore.

This isn’t our fault—it’s movies like “A Walk to Remember’s" fault! These “romantic” high school and college characters do not exist in high school and college in today’s hookup culture. But if you don’t wanna get hurt by a frat guy that talks to you in order to hook up with you and then never talks to you again, don’t go for a guy like that. If you do, just don't get upset afterwards if absolutely nothing comes out of the interaction! Decide who it is you want to be in college and stick to it. You’ll meet the right guy in the right place at the right time. Focus on yourself and if you do that, things will start to fall into place for you, trust me. Don’t get caught up in the romantic movies starring high school and college boys that would do anything for the female protagonist. Expect the most of yourself and the right guys will be attracted to you. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you? (J Beib's got this one right).

This is my call to action—please stop getting so upset over something you knew deep-down was going to happen in the first place in that environment. But no matter what it is you want to do, give yourself more power than you give to them.