You know how there are certain things that people say that make you twitch a little? Or when you hear something it makes you sad- always?
Hearing, “You’re too emotional” or “You’re so sensitive” are those phrases to me.
Let me just go out and say how dare someone tell you what level of feeling you can have?!
Today’s culture seems to always be “flaunt the best part of you, have no weaknesses or insecurity”. I’m not saying this is bad because frankly I’d love to strut around and feel as confident as social media wants me to be. In fact, how easy would my life be if I was a perfect human that only felt good and nothing more?
I was thinking about it and I realized actually how awful that might be. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned this past year it is to be real- and being real is not being happy and powerful all the time.
As someone who desires connection with people, animals, etc, like anyone else, feelings are extremely important. Life would be so boring if I couldn’t feel nervous, sad, or extremely elated. How could I possibly make the connection I long for if I can’t show a wide range of emotions? Other people still feel things- even the toughest guy or the most bada** chick.
When I feel down about being so emotional and my hormones seem to be raging, I always try and think about this:
To take away emotion is to take away existence. Life isn’t meant to be an easy ride nor is it meant to be this single track of monotonous behavior. A point of living is to feel alive and feeling alive means you have to experience it all. Feelings build character and how you act upon them shapes who you are as a person. To be one way is basically giving in and acting like some sort of robot.
I’ve found that in relationships, one of the most important aspects is to be honest and open about your emotions. Voice what you like and dislike, work on them- together. How could someone know they did something wrong if you just pretend that everything is fine. Those who can’t handle the feelings of another human don’t deserve to be with that person, let alone anyone else. If you think relationships are just jolly and happy and pictures of couples holding each other on the beach, think again. Relationships with anyone, romantic or platonic or family, are hard. They require effort, motivation and cooperation, and willingness to bend for each other.
I don’t think I’ve cried as much as I ever have in my past relationship but I’m happy for that. I’m glad that my partner saw the real side of me and regardless of whether or not they could take it, I’m glad I was being real with them. To act happy all the time with them would be literal bulls**** and I might as well just have been some type of doll to play with. Those who are mature recognize that “being weak” isn’t a bad thing. They also recognize “being emotional” is not a bad trait. It’s better to communicate with one another than to let everything slide, to pretend everything’s okay and eventually build resentment.
I realized that I want people to know there is a human side of me- a side that doesn’t want to hide behind fear of judgement or worry. I want people to know that I am a human and need attention, feel pain, and desire things. Without that, I’m not really living but just letting the world pass me by. I want relationships with people that are honest and real. I want to be able to tackle our emotions together, regardless of how difficult they may get. And if we try to make things work but fail to do so, I’d be happier knowing that I didn’t just give up but attempted to work for what I wanted.
So to those who are feeling “over emotional” or like a loose cannon, this is for you.
Don’t fear who you are just because society tells you to act like this bada**. Be real with yourself and with one another. Let your true colours show. People who can’t handle who you really are don’t deserve to be in your life. Praise yourself for actually being able to show emotion. It means you’re actually living life instead of faking a smile. And who doesn’t want to be accepted for who they truly are?
