I cannot walk to the grocery store without being harassed. It is a quarter of a mile from my campus to the closest shopping center, and on my grocery run this week I was honked and shouted at and otherwise rudely gestured to a total of four times one way. This the norm for young women who are going anywhere off campus. Catcalling is not simply obnoxious or frustrating; it is demeaning, objectifying, and threatening. When I tell people how catcalling makes me feel, I rarely receive any sympathy. I refuse to accept any of these responses, and I’d like to explain why.

"Take it as a compliment."

Catcalling is not flattering; it is demeaning. Having explicit descriptions of my body yelled at me from the window of a moving vehicle in no way makes me feel better about myself. It is hard enough to foster a positive self-image without further perpetuating the idea that women need to conform to particular body type to be sexually appealing. The comments that men yell from their cars are generally along the lines of explicitly stating what they would like to do to a woman or criticizing a part of a woman’s body that does not conform to their expectations. This is sexual harassment and is never positive in any way.

"It’s not a big deal. Boys will be boys."

I find it impossible to ignore the magnitude of the issue of objectification of women in our society. Catcalling points to the core principle that underlies gender discrimination and rape culture in America- women are objects, not people. Dismissal of sexual harassment only serves to marginalize victims and prevents progress. Sexual harassment is a significant detriment to mental health if nothing else, and that matters. It is behavior that cannot be excused simply because it is a cultural norm. Give guys some credit-- there are plenty of decent guys who would never honk at a woman as they drove past because they have the mental capacity, morals, and self control to recognize it is wrong. Saying boys will be boys degrades the importance of men’s free will and personal choice.

"It’s not a real threat."

Is every guy who yells a dirty comment at me going to pull over and attack me? No. Obviously not. I am not trying to demonize all men or imply that people who catcall other people are going to commit some kind of sexual offense. The point is that sexual harassment creates fear, and that is a real threat to the well being of women. It is not an illogical fear. It is one learned from experience. As a survivor of rape, I have first hand knowledge of what happens when I am sexually objectified by men. Being catcalled is a trigger for my PTSD and perpetuates my ongoing struggle against body-self dissociation. It creates a fear that is real even if the statistical likelihood of being attacked not as high as my fears lead me to believe. I should not have to be afraid to leave campus alone. I should not constantly feel the need to look over my shoulder.

"Just ignore it or flip him off."

What is that supposed to accomplish? Returning one rude gesture with another only creates an adversarial environment. Giving a guy the middle finger for honking at me is not going to stop him from doing the same to someone else in the future. There is also the very real possibility that the instigator may return to heckle the victim yet again. Ignoring the problem doesn't change anything either. We as a society need to address the issue and foster respect for women and all people. No, I do not think we can change a culture in which the sexualization and objectification of women has become so normalized overnight. It will take serious effort, not silence, not anger, not hostile retaliation.