So you want a career, huh? For the soon-to-be graduate, this means engaging in lots of fun buzzword activities like “networking,” “linking,” and “stress-crying” (Some more effective than others). Hence, when you see that your school is hosting a career fair at the rec you seize this as the perfect opportunity to go engage in these activities and discover your potential dream job!

So once you’ve shimmied into your most professional outfit, of which the articles were gathered from the back of your closet, under your bed, and your roommate’s closets, and placed some updated resumes in a very classy-chic manila folder, you strut off to work the room. Here is the progression of thoughts and feelings that may follow (at varying intensity depending on your level of social competency):

• I’ve got this. This is not a big deal, just going to chat with some peeps. Learning experience. Learning is fun. Networking, yeah, great.
• Wow they sure crammed a bunch of companies in here. How do I read this booth map thing, am I in the 700s row? No this is the 200s..?
• Okay that chick looks really good in her pants suit. Work it girl! I look like I’m late for Sunday school
• Whatever I'll be the most employable little cherub in the Sunday school choir!
• Oh look, there's one of the companies I want to talk to. I'm going in!
• Whoop, jk, you go for it pants suit girl, Nah, it's cool, Ima wait.
• So now do I just hover here and wait or is that weird? Is this like a line kind of deal? Do I take a lap? What is proper bus-fair protocol?! Pretend to look at your map more... good, good...
• Aww they look so lonely at that booth over there. Should I just go talk to them? They have candy...
• Hey, pants suit on the move again, available human, DIVE!
• Well hello there...Introduction, handshake, boring personal intro. Ugh so status quo, let's go for a joke!
• Blehh was that a PR joke? Not my best, Stick to the script girl.
• Wow they have a lot of cool information. This lady seems super helpful. I wonder how many students she has already monologued this to. She must be so over this by now. I hope she brought snacks or something to keep herself entertained. Have I been looking at her right eye this whole time? Aarrgh I'm going to switch to the left one. So much eye contact happening so close to her face. Eyes are weird. Have a blinked at all? I don't think I can blink. HELP MY EYES ARE STUCK OPEN FOREVER. Oh, there we go. Wait, what did she just say?
•  "Yes, I am graduating in May." AKA I am seeking immediate answers to my impending and unknown future, love me.
• What if I just started making robot noises, would that be off-putting? Maybe it would make me stand out: "Hey, how about that robot girl, she was really onto something."
• Nah, human words better
• Why yes, I do have a resume on hand, I will trade you one resume for one of those lovely business cards. Props on the font, team, very sleek.
• "So nice chatting with you...err.."
• Thank the lord for these name tags
• "...Natalie." Now back away slowly. Make room for the next sheep.
• That wasn't bad. Networking is fun. Just call me princess network. Networked AF over here. I don't even need a job, I'm already working overtime in this net. Yeah.
• Oh look, it's officially happy hour.