We've all heard it. That dreaded word. Cancer. It doesn't cut as deep into your heart when you just hear it, compared to someone close in your family finding out they have it. It's everywhere. Everyday people are effected by this scary scary disease. But how you react to it, is up to you.

This past year my grandpa was diagnosed with oral cancer. Little back story, I'm the first grandchild. And, you know how that goes. Yes, they spoil me. And yes, they are also my best friends. My mom had me young, so we lived with my grandparents for a couple years. I've always done everything with them. We are a very close family. We are that family that does dinner every Sunday night together (or tries to anyways). We don't keep secrets and we talk nearly everyday. So, you can only imagine how we all felt the day we found out my grandpa had cancer.

The world stops spinning. You don't know whether to be sad because it's scary. Or to stay strong and cheerful so that they stay positive through their diagnosis. You literally feel like your heart and thoughts might explode in each direction.

Watching them go through pain and agony is one of the worst parts of it. Not only did my grandpa have over half of the top of his roof removed, all his teeth, and some lymph nodes in the neck, he also got shingles. Went through countless rounds of radiation. Feeding tubes. He has to learn how to talk again, eat again. It's never ending. When you see someone you love so much, you almost feel like your going through it with them. And bless my grandmas soul for taking care of him through all this because it was hard on her too.

But my grandpa is a fighter. It was a very long road to recovery and he's still recovering. He's learning new ways on how to live his "new norm." It's a struggle sometimes for him, but he has a huge support system and I think that helps a lot.

You sometimes question why? Why them? You never really get an answer, and the hole in your heart keeps running deeper. Your friends tell you to stay positive but it doesn't help. You almost go into a deep depression and you feel selfish and guilty for even feeling sorry for yourself because your not even the one going through the cancer. Its a hard pill to swallow. Not only for the person with the cancer but for the people around them too.

I guess my point is, it's a scary journey. It's a scary ride. One day it's great, the next it's not. One day your improving the next you spiraling down hill. You don't know what the next day will bring but you can have a positive outlook, pray and hope things will be okay in the end. You can't choose your journey. You can't tell the future. You can't press stop, pause or fast forward. Life is crazy. Cancer is crazy. All diseases are crazy. You can try to ask why a million times, why you? Why them? Why? But you'll never get your answer because there is only one person who knows and that is God.

Live by faith, not by sight. Go through the journey with them. Hold their hand. Cry with them. Laugh with them. But NEVER give up on them. Never stop fighting. Keep smiling, keep going, and just be there. Be there for the bad moments and be there for the good. Love them harder on the bad days and let them rejoice on the good. Lean on eachother. Family is forever.

PS. Congratulations grandpa! You are cancer free! ❤️