Is there anyone in your life that you need to forgive? That doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to forgive them, though to truly forgive someone you have to mean it.
Maybe someone has hurt you.
Maybe someone has done you wrong.
Maybe someone did something, and they don’t even know it, but you harbor the pain anyway.
Maybe a parent wasn’t the World’s Best Mom or Dad.
Maybe someone was cruel to you.
Maybe someone bullied you.
Maybe someone hit you.
Maybe someone left you alone when you needed them.
Maybe someone said something mean.
Maybe someone ignored you.
Maybe someone caused you to have a rough childhood.
Maybe someone got you in trouble.
Maybe someone sold you out on something.
Maybe someone made you cry.
Maybe the someone you need to forgive is yourself.
Sometimes the person we need to forgive is someone that has done something to us or caused something to happen to us.
But sometimes the person we harbor the most disgust, hatred, and loathing for is ourselves; and we have to learn to forgive ourselves.
When someone does something to you, you may feel wronged, hurt, let down, left behind, or any number of things. Sometimes we harbor those feelings and nurture them, make them grow, until one day it becomes too much and it's all we feel. We become so overcome with these feelings that we find we cannot feel anything else.
And that is when they become dangerous. That is when we become so desperate that we try anything to get rid of the feelings, except the only thing the we NEED to do: forgive.
And when it is ourselves that we must forgive, it can be even harder than if we were forgiving someone else. Because how can we forgive ourselves for doing these things to us, when we are supposed to be the ones to love ourselves and not care about opinions? How are we supposed to forgive ourselves when we didn’t even realize we were doing these things to ourselves?
You have to forgive yourself before you can begin to forgive anyone else.
When you start forgiving yourself and the people who may have done you wrong, you can feel peace.
Don’t expect to be thanked for forgiving someone. If you do it expecting a thank you, reward, or trophy, then you are doing it completely wrong. Forgive someone to let go of the negative feelings eating away at you. By not forgiving them and holding on to those feelings, you are not hurting anyone but yourself. Help yourself and forgive them, whatever they have done. Forgive yourself, whatever you have done.
Forgiving yourself or someone else can be one of the most important things you do in life.
Sometimes to really forgive someone, it helps to try and understand them first. The chance is they were hurt, too.
Forgiveness is one of the finest qualities we have as human beings.
Sometimes forgiveness can happen in an instant, as soon as you make that decision. But sometimes forgiveness can take years, a lifetime. Whichever the instance, I hope that you get there one day. I hope that you can forgive, and learn to have peace.
So now you may ask: How do I forgive someone, or myself?
HOW TO FORGIVE:
– Think about what happened and accept it, realize the growth and experience you gained from the situation.
– Think about the person you are forgiving. What did they do what they did? Why did you do what you did? Understand the person, the reasons.
– Decide whether to tell the person you forgave them. They don’t necessarily have to know, but sometimes it can help the process.
– Sometimes, writing how you feel can help. Whether you ever actually give it to the person, it doesn’t matter. Sit down and write a letter to the person, explaining how what happened affected you, your emotions and feelings, questions you may have for them. Work through things.
– Move on.
These steps and the steps to forgiveness will not be the same for everyone. Find your own path to forgiveness and peace, pray about it. Write about it. Talk about it. Accept it. Forgive, don’t forget. And move on.
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
– C.S. Lewis
“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you, and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, because hate in your heart will consume you too.”
– Will Smith
“I think that if God forgives us, we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him.”
– C.S. Lewis
“When you forgive, you love. And when you love, God’s light shines down upon you.”
– Jon Krakauer
“A life lived without forgiveness is a prison.”
– William Arthur Ward
“Before we can forgive one another, we have to understand one another.”
– Emma Goldman
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
– Matthew 6:14-15
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
– Ephesians 4:31-32
