Everyone thinks that women are so complicated, and perhaps as women we have perpetuated that myth. I can only speak for myself, though I think there are many women that may be like minded that would agree with me that the following are the keys to our happiness, and that they are simple keys.
- Be honest with us. A little honesty goes a long way. I would rather hear "I really didn’t take your feelings into consideration, I was just doing what I felt in the moment” than some bullshit lie that you think I want to hear to keep me “calm."
- Apologize. We all screw up. We ALL hate admitting that we screwed up, but I am more turned on by you apologizing, and therefore more likely to drop my drawers because you apologized and admitted that you messed up. That, my dear, is a serious aphrodisiac.
- Be interested in what I am telling you. I know I talk A LOT. I know that not everything that I say is worthy of a Nobel Prize in literature. I have news for you, the opposite is also true, and we are in this for the long haul. If I am willing to invest in you be willing to invest in me. And by the way, that's a panty dropper too!
- Tell me that I am (Insert positive statement here). In my case, being over thirty (shut up! We are leaving it at that), and incredibly vain, I enjoy hearing, “WOW, you look beautiful”. Other women prefer, “What you just said was amazing, your thoughts impress me and make me think more about X, Y and Z” or “you are quite possibly the most loving woman in the world, I am so glad that I am with you”. Whatever it is, a compliment goes a long way. We don’t “need” them per say, but boy do we enjoy them.
- “I had a bad day” “OMG, you thought yours was bad?! Let me tell you about mine.” Not the correct answer. We NEED to vent. We are not looking for resolutions or solutions to our problem. We don’t, in that very minute, want to have a pissing contest about whose day was worse. We want to vent, not commiserate. Just let us unload and then we will be more than happy to allow you to do the same.
- Getting into the more “delicate” subjects, when I ask for a particular thing in the bedroom, that’s what I want. Believe it or not, I know what feels good. I know what is going to get us both to the proverbial “happy ending”. When I say, “Turn right here” by all means man, turn right! I know me, I know how I like it. I am not trying to trick you. I want the same outcome that you do. So even though every prehistoric genetic impulse tells you “she don’t know ish” , just listen to her. I guarantee it will be worth it.
- Finally, and this goes for every woman over the age of 25 (24 year old and younger need not apply) ask for ID. GOD! There is nothing that makes my day more and turns me on like someone asking for my ID when I buy wine! It is the ultimate Viagra for women! And if the guy asking is really young, then damn! It’s all I can do to jump over the counter and plant one on him!
I hope that this gives you a little more insight into a woman’s brain. Go forth and … okay, prosper.
