"A boy and girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever." (500 Days of Summer)

Back in elementary school, boys and girls could be friends without anyone giving it a second thought. But once high school begins and the dating pool opens, all cards are off the table.

During my freshman year of college, a class of mine was assigned to read a book about relationships; relationships with friends, family, and significant others. During this class we were set into pairs of two and assigned to give presentations based on various chapters. We would then lead a class discussion about the chapter and would try to figure out what a majority of us agreed or disagreed with based on the book. One chapter in that book talks about the very question of whether boys and girls can be just friends, and threw my class into an uproar.

In my class there was a tendency for boys to believe we could not be just friends, and for girls to believe that we could. At the risk of stereotyping myself into the “girl" category, I'd have to say that I agree with the girls.

I can see why the boys might tend to believe we can't be only friends. I can see how it may be more difficult for guys and girls to be friends than if all of the friends were of the same sex. I don't think this type of relationship is necessarily harder—it's just different, and every type of friendship/relationship will go through some challenges anyways.

But I can't believe that guy and girl friendships are an impossible thing. Because I have yet to see a single person who acts the same way in front of every person they talk to. We tend to talk more comfortably and openly to our family and friends, professionally to professors and employers, and closed-off and disgruntled with people we dislike.

When I attended Spring Arbor University (SAU), this was an especially difficult topic to discuss. At SAU, there is a lot of pressure to date and find a soul mate before graduation (many have joked that it’s a requirement to graduate, same as getting in all your credits). We even put on various dating events throughout the year, such as Mystery Date Night and Lowell-Pick-A-Date, which everyone tells you to not take seriously, but secretly, most have a smidge of hope going into it; hope that maybe we will be that one couple that happens because of the event.

There is also the infamous "Ring-By-Spring" mentality. It seems that a lot of students feel the need to become engaged while they are in college. I've always been confused by this mindset. Do you not think you'll never meet any people after college? If you are lucky enough to find your soul mate during your college years, then by all means—definitely don’t miss out on that because of what else (and who else) might be out there. But for those who do for other reasons, like thinking this is the only place it could happen (especially if you don’t want it to happen when you’re any older), the truth is, there will be so many more opportunities for you to meet thousands of people after all schooling is done. Maybe if you wait awhile longer, you'll stumble across a place with that person you're looking for.

I understand that sometimes people will develop feelings for a friend of the opposite sex, and that's OK. It happens, and it’s probably partially why people think boys and girls really can’t be just friends.

The part I can’t fully comprehend is this: in order for boys and girls to not be able to be only friends, that means I must be attracted to every single male I come upon, and that is most definitely not that case. Now, I know that this isn’t a point that anyone is making in this scenario, and no one is claiming this to be the truth, but to me the idea of not being able to be just friends is sort of ridiculous.

I think the best way to handle it would be for us all to do what is best for ourselves. Doing what works best for you will help create less drama, and it might temporarily resolve the issue. We may never fully come to an agreement on the subject, so no matter which side of this endless debate you’re on, the most important thing to remember is to treat everyone with the love and respect we keep encouraging them to partake in.