More and more lately, I have been noticing that us women have a tendency to tear each other down. I know that I am guilty of having done it myself, but in a world where there are people that will continue to attempt to diminish our accomplishments, do we really need to add to that? I have seen it time and time again. Whether it be a snide comment, a snicker, a backhanded compliment or an outright insult, it just is not necessary. We all have our insecurities and our current society does nothing to build our confidence and diminish our insecurities, if anything it does the exact opposite.
When we tear each other down and judge each other, we even add to our own insecurities because that is what we think others are doing to us. You assume that people are judging you when you walk down the street because that is what you have done to someone else. When we do these things we are not only hurting others but also ourselves. When we say something about someone that is hurtful we are letting other people think that it is OK to go around and say rude comments about their peers. We are allowing men to think it is okay to call us nasty names because we call each other nasty names. For so long, us women have been our own worst enemies because we spend so much time competing with each other and demeaning each other that our society has begun to believe it is OK for them to do to us.
Why do we waste so much of our energy on what other women are doing? Who the hell cares if you would not wear what the woman next to you was wearing; you are not her. That is a decision that she made and no one gave you the right to make her feel bad about herself for an outfit that it may have taken her weeks to work up the courage and confidence to wear. You are not the judge and jury, so keep your thoughts to yourself and focus on you; you only have the right to tell yourself what to wear and how to act so leave the people around you out of it. You have no clue who will hear that mumble under your breath or how it will make them feel, so remember what you were taught as a child: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." You may think you are being discrete, but you do not know if they see you laughing, pointing, or trying to take a picture.
Stop focusing your energy on the negativity and focus it on encouraging your fellow woman. You may not have the courage to wear the high-waisted skirt and crop top that the woman next to you is but you tell her that she rocks it. You let her know how fierce she is. Just be kind to each other.
