Too tall, too thin, too fat, too short, too smart, too confident, too imperfect.

Insecurities such as these are whispered into the subconscious of nearly every woman in our society, and each time we listen, we take a blow to our confidence and self-esteem.

There are endless ways for young girls and women to feel inadequate, and it seems that they not only worry about what they think of themselves, but also what others think of them.

The term, “don’t judge me” has become a catch phrase among women, but what I've recently realized is that young girls are saying it, too. There's a real problem with that.

The phrase itself may not be the most concerning problem, instead it may be the fact that girls are saying it, too. I have heard it said from one friend to another on innumerable occasions, and also from sister to sister. It was when my own little sister said it to me that I was finally able to pinpoint what has bothered me so much about this phrase from the get-go: women and young girls are saying, “don’t judge me” to the very people that they should feel the most confident with. If we do not feel that we can be ourselves with the people that we love most, then how do we ensure that we are living every day as the best version of ourselves?

When are we saying it? Most commonly, I have heard other women say this when they feel like they should be ashamed of what they have done. It seems that women are ashamed of something that could make them look bad, whether it is their body or their reputation.

"I had a stressful day and I need this entire tub of ice cream. Don't judge me."

"I ran into him again, and well, things went a little to far. Don't judge me."

"I was exhausted and skipped the gym. Don't judge me."

"I was too lazy to put makeup on today. Don't judge me."

While you may have made a mistake, and there may have been a better route to take, you should not have to feel the need to explain yourself. If you share these intimate details of your life with another person, chances are they are someone who knows you well, well enough to care more about your well-being than the action itself.

Someone who cares for you should be able to sit down next to you, spoon in hand, ready to help you polish off that tub of ice cream, and sit down and listen to you about what happened with the guy you swore you'd never talk to again. The first instinct should not be judgement, the first instinct should be the one that tells you to be there for them no matter what.

The phrase, while relatively new, has become common slang and has worked its way into the everyday vocabulary of many women. We have started saying this phrase without realizing the implications that it can have over time. It seems harmless, but as it becomes increasingly normal, we use it to ensure the people around us are not judging us.

The people that you surround yourself with should love you for who you are and never make judgments; they should be there for you when you need them. So throw the phrase out, say goodbye to insecurities and welcome the confidence that the people you love should be giving you.