On May 4th at the Rubin Museum in Chelsea New York City, I was able to attend a talk by Chris Anderson, the Curator of TED, and Brene Brown, my personal hero. I’ve never had a more amazing experience in my life. To meet the woman who has shaped my life and the person I am becoming left me speechless, literally all I could say to Brene was “thank you” and “I’m sorry” because my entire body was shaking so much it looked like I was convulsing.
To all who don’t know the incredible person to which I am referring:
1. You should.
2. She is a Researcher Storyteller (yes, I mean exactly that), a research professor at the University of Houston, has her Ph.D. in Social Work, has given two amazing TED Talks, has written multiple mind-blowing books, and studies shame and vulnerability. A little Brene Brown starter for all of you:
One of my favorite things about this woman is that she does not walk on water. She is struggling and learning from her research just as much as everyone else. She is not an unattainable model of living the best life by adapting and embracing all that life has to offer. Brene Brown always tells it how it is and rarely sugar-coats anything.
Here is where I will share some of her quotes that I find most relevant and that I feel everyone should read. Prepare yourselves, this woman can and will change your life if you let her.
The choices we’ve made, who we’ve become, the things that have happened to us, these are all part of our individual stories. Owning these things and loving ourselves despite of or because of this is to put it simply--really freaking hard. But as Brene says “the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” Be Brave people.
“You’re imperfect. You’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
There is not much of an explanation needed. This can be a hard one to swallow sometimes, but it is essential and always worth repeating. Keep this one close.
“When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability.”
It is impossible to be utterly indifferent to what people think about you. On some level everyone cares, especially those people who are adamantly vocal against this point. We need people, but we do not need to be defined by them. A capacity for vulnerability and connection are necessities to being human.
"Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight."
People think that perfectionism can be a mode of motivation within people, but it really has the capacity to destroy self-worth. Stop seeking constant approval and acceptance from others and begin to break down the barriers of perfectionism. (Advice: yes, this is another really freaking difficult thing.)
“Don’t try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.”
“If you aren’t in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”
These two go hand in hand. At the base of Brene Brown’s research is the quote she says changed her life, the arena quote by Theodore Roosevelt. If you’re not sure what that is, Google it--this article is pretty long already. However, do not let the opinion of those who are not experiencing vulnerability affect you or the work you are doing. Accept the advice of those who are struggling right beside you. Your goal is not to please; don’t let it be.
There are many more I’d love to share. I could write countless articles on the work and words of Brene Brown; instead, I recommend her TED Talks, books, interviews, and any other material you can get your hands or mouse on. She explains it much better than I ever could.
The work that Brene Brown does opened my eyes to a field of study that I previously overlooked, that I now eagerly wait to pursue. As my babbling self repeatedly told you before, thank you for being you, Brene. Thank you for embracing my hopelessly nervous self at the Rubin Museum. Thank you for sharing your work with the world. Thank you for daring greatly and rising strong. Thank you for showing me that I can do the same.
