For as long as I can remember, I've been wearing a bra. I don't remember a "training bra" or wearing a sports bra in school, because I'm not 'that' developed yet. Nope.
Growing up, my parents would not allow me to wear graphic tees in junior high because the graphic would stretch, causing more attention to me than I needed or wanted. I insisted on wearing them anyway; I wanted to feel normal.
I was a DDD by eighth grade, and I never felt good about myself. It didn't help that the year before, I had just moved to a new town. Being more endowed than everyone just made everything worse. My parents are firm believers in being apart of your school, so I had to join a sport in junior high. I had to be active. It was so hard for me to run or do anything, so I chose golf. It was the only sport in school that did not require running.
In high school, I was in marching band and my breast were still growing. By the time I graduated in 2014, I was a size F. Any shirt I wore was deemed provocative by my peers or relatives. I was never really happy in my own skin. I never felt like I belonged, and that brought a lot of emotions. Dresses, bathing suits, tops. Nothing ever fit right.
Last year, in 2017, my mom asked if I was still interested in getting a reduction. Uhm, yes? At this point, I was a G and staying that way. I was unhappy, because everything I wore made me look huge. There was a lot of emotions flying through the air.
I went in to see my doctor and told her what I wanted to do. Well, to get insurance to pay all or a portion, I had to prove I was really hurting. Since I didn't complain about my back pain, shoulder pain or headaches to her ever, I had to get X-Rays.
I found out I have arthritis in my back. Now, I don't have the best posture on purpose. If I walked with perfect posture, the first thing someone would see was my breasts. I did not want someone's first impression of me to be that. In my mind, bad posture was better than a sexual thought or rude remark.
I made an appointment for a consult, and that consult is when my life changed. I was so nervous, I actually cried in the doctor's office. My worst fear was being rejected and told that I shouldn't even be here; that I don't need a reduction. I'm still of childbearing age; this surgery can cause you not to be able to breastfeed. Who cares?
At this point in my life, I don't want kids in the next 5 years. I want to create a healthy body for myself, and I am unable to do that because I layer 3 sports bras on to just work out.
After the initial consult, it took a month for insurance to accept it. I had just pulled up to my apartment building when the doctor's office called. Insurance had accepted my claim, and I was to have surgery on December 26, 2017.
This surgery has changed my life. By the time this gets posted, I will be three weeks post op. I still have some surgical pain, but that is to be expected. I can breathe better, I can sleep better, and I can see my stomach!
If you are on the fence, please don't be. Get that consult. It could be life-changing.
I will be posting more articles about my journey in the near future. This isn't a dream, it's a reality. I'm living my best life, and if you want to do it, then don't wait.
