“Eating disorders -- such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder – include extreme emotions, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding weight and food issues. Eating disorders are serious emotional and physical problems that can have life-threatening consequences for females and males." -NEDA
Having an eating disorder changes you. It changes the way you go about your day and how you act around the people you love. You become consumed with the idea of fitting into society's standards that you lose yourself. You lose your personality and your confidence. Having dinner with your family no longer an enjoyable experience. You spend that time staring at your plate, picking at your food and wondering how long it will take before you can say you just aren't hungry.
People seem to have the impression that people with eating disorders just need to eat something. That if they just eat a cheeseburger then they will be fine, but that's not the case. Having an eating disorder plays a physical and emotional toll on your body and mind. Skipping meals was easy, it was keeping a secret from everyone who loves you that was hard.
From middle school to high school, I spent my days eating as little as I could. I would throw away my breakfast on the way to the bus stop, give away my lunch to my friends, and only eat dinner because my parents were around. I used excuses like I wasn't hungry to cheat me way out of eating a full meal. The idea of “being skinny” was the only thing I was consuming as a teenager.
I never understood that what I was doing to my body would have a negative impact on my well-being. I continued to tell myself that if I didn't eat anything, then I wouldn't gain anything. I would hold my stomach in to make myself look like I was thinner. It wasn't until my sophomore year of high school when I started realizing just how much harm I was putting myself through.
Exercising regularly combined with one meal a day started to take its toll. I became prone to feeling light headed and passing out. If questioned if I had eaten anything that day, I simply lied. Lying became second nature and so did not eating.
To know your weaknesses is one thing, but addressing those weaknesses is another. To this day, I believe that the strength I showed seeking help about my eating disorder was what shaped me into who I am today. As a 15-year-old young female, admitting to myself that I had a problem was only half the battle. Telling my parents was the next battle.
I needed help and so I asked for it. I told my mother, who comforted me instead of punishing me. I saw doctors and nutritionist who diagnosed me with having Anorexia Nervosa. I had spent three years being anorexic and the process of undoing the damage would not be easy.
I was underweight for my age and height. My journey to gaining weight was harder than just eating more food. I had to learn to stop wanting to have a certain look. I had to adjust the way I saw myself in a mirror and constantly tell myself that I was beautiful the way I was even if I didn't look like the girls in magazines. I didn't have to fit in nor did I want to anymore.
I will admit that I am not 100% in love with my body today and I still struggle with body issues, but I am not alone. I am better and stronger than the person I used to be. I know my weaknesses and have turned them into strengths and I am a better person because of that.
According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the U.S. Of those 30 million people, 0.9% of American women suffer from anorexia in their lifetime. 1.5% of American women suffer from bulimia nervose in their lifetime and 2.8% of American adults suffer from binge eating disorder in their lifetime.
I am here to tell my story not only to raise awareness of the dangers of eating disorders but to show that it can happen to anyone. You don't have to be alone, nor should you be. I am not ashamed to admit that I had an eating disorder for it made me the strong individual I am today.
If you or a loved one is showing signs of possibly having an eating disorder or have questions, please call the National Eating Disorders toll-free, confidential Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. The NEDA also provides free, confidential online eating disorders screenings through their website at http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-sympt...
