The rookie wished he could scrub the scene entirely from his memory. Confetti. The swelling of the triumphant music. Their opponents celebrating mere feet away. The entire arena flooding out onto the court to join them, reminding him just how far from home he was. He stood unmoving at center court trying to process it. Random team members trudged past him to walk shamefaced into the locker room, sometimes slapping him on the shoulder or the back, sometimes murmuring things he couldn’t, wouldn’t hear. After what seemed like an eternity - all the players had gone to their respective locker rooms with press in tow and the spectators’ celebrations had spilled out into the streets - he turned and made the slow, lonely journey to the locker room.
It was quiet in there. The only sounds were the rustling of clothes and towels and the faint hiss from the showers. Guys were changing or sitting and staring at their feet, their hands in their lap, never once looking at each other or saying anything. Some looked up as Tyler walked in. Ben and Skyler glanced at each other and shook their heads. Luc caught his gaze briefly but quickly looked back down at the floor in front of him. DeShawn grimaced. Pops ran his fingers over his hair.
Once everyone was assembled again, coach cleared his throat. Someone shifted. Another sniffed. Muted coughs.
“Look, guys. I know you all think we should have won that. Hell, we all know we should have won it. We played hard. We played well. It wasn’t our mistakes that cost us this game, it wasn’t the refereeing, it wasn’t injuries, it wasn’t the thousands of other excuses we and everyone following us can think up. When it comes right down to it they were better than us. Hell, those wins we did have this series? That was them making mistakes, suffering injuries, getting unlucky on calls. And there’s nothing we can do about it now. Some teams are just plain better than others, and that was showcased tonight.
“I know you’re disappointed. I know you’re all here to win. But you know what? Simply wishing really hard won't get us a ring. The only thing we can do now is look forward to next season. Get to the next level, because that’s what we have to do to have another chance at this.
“Man, what’s the point?” Jameson kicked an empty Gatorade bottle across the floor. “All that work, just to lose again? Fuck that.”
“If you don't want to put in the work, Conners,” coach said evenly, glaring at him. “I've got a nice cold seat right at the end of the bench that needs warming,”
He sighed, and suddenly looked much older than he had all year. “Look at you guys. At training camp you were a bunch of third string misfits. But you made it to the damn championships. You made it to game seven. You really gave our opponents a run. And you know what? No one else thought we would ever make it this far. But we proved every single last one of them wrong. Doesn’t that make you feel good? ‘Cause its makes me feel damn good.”
Grumbles. Ben and Skyler shared another glance, but this time they were smiling slightly. Jameson crunched the wayward Gatorade bottle underfoot, muttering, “I guess.”
Tyler felt the tension draining from his back and shoulders. He remembered training camp all too well. Back then he would have never, ever entertained the idea of thinking about hoping to make it this far.
“So how about Ellison tonight, huh?”
Coach grinned at him. The rest of the guys started to look over at him too, some even smiling. Others looked a little less grim, anyway.
“Oh come on, guys. Y'all are being a bunch of downers. What about all the stuff we did do right?” Elijah stood. “Come to think of it, we probably wouldn’t have done as well if it weren’t for Tyler.” he nodded, almost to himself, one hand on his chin. “That was a good call, coach,”
“You know,” DeShawn stood as well and joined Elijah. “I remember when you first got drafted to the team. You still looked like a kid to the rest of us, high on all that college ball glory.” He grinned. “You weren’t broken like us. It annoyed the shit out of me. I wanted you to know what was coming, how much your life was going to suck from now on. But then all of the sudden we started winning, just like that. And all of the sudden I started remembering what it was like for me back in college, and how it felt to win, to know you were good, to know you were adored. All thanks to you, kid. You brought spirit back to this team. You brought back hope and belief. So hold onto those glory days, rook. You got a lot more coming to you.”
Guys nodded along with him. Either Ben or Skyler (he could never exactly be sure which) called, “Yeah, rook!”
“All right, we can decide what we need to work on when we get back home and get a little rest in.” Coach said. “How about right now we go out and celebrate?”
The guys cheered at that, and began gathering their things and heading outside. Tyler hadn’t moved the whole time. It was like he was watching the whole scene from above, as if all this was happening to someone else. Guys were passing him again, slapping him on the back, but this time they were grinning. Joking. Encouraging.
“Nice going, rook,”
“Yeah, way to go, rook!”
“See you next game seven, right rook?”
Finally only Elijah was standing beside him. He didn’t notice at first.
“So.”
Tyler flinched, and stared up at him.
“Why do you look so goddamned scared all the time?”
“We lost,” he answered simply.
“No shit, kid. It happens sometimes. Guess you’re still too new to this team. We’re sort of used to losing,” he claps Tyler on the shoulder. “So you coming out with us or not? i don’t know about anyone else, but I’d kill for a chamomile tea right about now,”
Later, they were all seated around a long line of tables that the restaurant staff hurriedly pushed together for them when they showed up, all sixteen of them. Tyler finds himself next to Elijah again.
“You’re always so calm.” he remarked. “So how come you never hazed me during training camp, or preseason or anything? Felt more like my big brother looking out for me.”
“No one believed you were our last hope,” Elijah took a long sip from his tea, closing his eyes momentarily. “See, the guys had someone new to pick on. They could lay off each other - and themselves. Not one of these dumbasses realized it, but you united them. We started acting like a team again. And that’s why we’re here right now. Now, if you just work on your play calling, next year’s championship is in the bag,” he smiled widely at Tyler and clinked his mug against Tyler’s beer glass. “You look terrified again, kid. Relax. You’ve got a year to practice.”
Tyler looks around the table to everyone talking, and laughing, and for the first time, he smiled to himself. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t happy, but none of that seemed to matter anymore. At least they were together - a team.
