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Boyfriends

Advice You Didn't Ask For: Break Up With Him

Or her, or them, whatever floats your goat. Here are some red flags to look for in your relationship.

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For the sake of time I'm going to use he/his for this article. If your boo isn't a he, use your imagination. Also, every relationship is different, take this advice with a grain of salt.

Here are some things to look at if you're unhappy: Communication, humility, beliefs, and time spent outside of the relationship.

Let us begin with communication. If he won't communicate about expectations or intentions (been there), break up with him. If you don't know that something is wrong until he brings up the breakup (been there too), head for the hills. You should both be on the same page, even during conflict. Do not, I repeat, do not argue over text. It never ends well, the disagreement lasts longer than it needs to. If he doesn't want to meet up and won't answer calls, leave him sis.

Onto humility. This is a big one. You both, yes you too, need to humble yourselves in a healthy relationship. It's not all about you anymore, if you want your relationship to work, you have to set pride aside. You must be able to admit when something hurt you or made you upset, it's immature to use the phrases "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" when you're not. Contrary, when you say that you're fine, you better act like it. Don't say things that aren't true. He shouldn't either. This is a huge red flag and if he can't admit that something is off, dip out of there on the double.

Beliefs. This one might seem obvious but lines get blurred when you're in ~love~, or a toxic relationship. It's important to note that you don't need to have the same beliefs, religion, or political views, but you do have to respect them. As does he. Get these conversations out of the way early and understand what boundaries are in place. You both should have certain things you don't compromise on, these are okay, as long as you both respect them. Some examples are: sex (oooOOOOoo), what's considered cheating, your faith, and personal habits that you/he doesn't agree with (booze, drugs, idk what you're into). If neither of you budge, it's not going to work out.

Time spent outside of the relationship is the biggest red flag and one that doesn't get addressed often. Listen close: You cannot be your boyfriend's therapist, (only) best friend, life coach, or mother. It just doesn't work. I've been there, it's exhausting. He needs to handle his emotional baggage outside of your relationship. He needs other people to talk to besides you. The pressure of being the only one that can make each other happy is toxic and it won't end well.

Now I'm not telling you what to do, but if you're unhappy to the point of no return, break up with him. You're welcome.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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