The Ultimate Boyfriend Application For Finding Mr. Right

The Ultimate Boyfriend Application For Finding Mr. Right

Dating just got a whole lot easier
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ATTENTION! There is a way to end the hectic search for "Mr. Right" by using this foolproof boyfriend application, which will help you with finding the boy of your dreams. There is no need for the messy beginning stages of a relationship when you can just put everything out on the table. You will never again be alarmed by your boyfriend's inexcusable lack of hygiene or his incompetence of pleasing you in all aspects of life. Share this method with your friends because it's guaranteed to work.

Basic Information:

Full Name

Phone Number

Email

Instagram username

Twitter handle

Age

Height

Weight

Eye Color

Birth place

SSN

Highest current level of education

Major

GPA (Do not round you fool)

Body count

Size of weenie

General hygiene questions:

On average, how many showers do you take a week?

On average, how many times do you brush your teeth a day?

Do you pick your nose?

Do you wash your hands after you pee?

Do you put the seat down?

Please provide a short statement regarding your stance on the following topics:

1. Same sex marriage:

2. Racism:

3. Religion:

4. Feminism:

5. Abortion:

6. Plastic surgery:

What is your favorite...

Animal?

Color?

Food?

Music genre?

Movie?

TV show?

Random, but still valid questions I need to know before furthering this relationship:

What are your thoughts on the following lyrics "I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous"

Boxers or briefs?

Do you read? (Twitter feed doesn't count)

How many shots in before you start acting like a complete imbecile?

Which celebrity do you believe would play you in a movie? (Don't even bother saying Zac Efron)

Did you cry while watching Titanic?

Have you even seen Titanic? (If no, refer to the next question)

Do you live under a rock?

Do you sleep on the left or right side of the bed?

Is it gross when your significant other fart in front of you?

Do you speak any other languages other than English?

Ass or boobs?

Who is your best friend?

Dogs or cats?

Do you currently have a Tinder (If yes, delete it now)

Any weird fetishes? Please explain.

Please answer the following questions on a scale from 1-10:

How funny do you think are you?

How sensitive are you actually?

How messy are you?

How kinky are you in the bedroom?

How good of a kisser are you?

Now answer truthfully, how good of a kisser are you?

How would you rate your looks? (1-Monster, 5-Barely Do-able, 10-Perfection)

Hypothetically what would you do if... (Triggers):

Another guy grabbed my ass at a bar?

Somebody cut you off on the highway?

One of your ex-girlfriends messaged/texted you?

Lastly, answer the following questions in 1-2 sentences:

Describe your style (Don't just say "cool").

Explain how you see your life in 10 years.

Describe your ideal vacation/honeymoon?

How many kids do you want? Girl? Boy?

Describe where you would you take me on a first date? (If you're lucky enough to make it past the application process).

Describe your relationship with your family.

References (Please provide two references, excluding all close best friends and your grandmother):

Name:

Cell:

Email:

Relationship:


Name:

Cell:

Email:

Relationship:




(Attach resume to the back of this application)

*Application can be revoked at any time if applicant fails to impress me throughout dating process or has provided non satisfactory answers on application questionnaire*


By signing below, I agree to uphold my responsibilities throughout the dating process to the best of my ability. I agree that I have answered all the above answers truthfully and understand that any false information provided will result in an automatic denial of any future dating rights. I also agree that providing a detailed application does not necessarily guarantee any furthering of this relationship. I understand that this process is serious and demands careful analysis and consideration, which means I will be patient during the decision making process. Failure of loyalty will result in immediate face to face meeting with said girlfriends brother and father.


Print Name: (Legibly)


Signature:


Date:



Cover Image Credit: Bored Panda

Popular Right Now

I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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views

Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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A Little Skepticism Goes A Long Way

Be informed citizens and verify what you see and hear.

rahma
rahma
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These days more than ever before we are being bombarded constantly by a lot of news and information, a considerable amount of which is inaccurate. Sometimes there's an agenda behind it to mislead people and other times its just rumors or distortion of the facts. So, how do you sift through all this and get accurate information? How can you avoid being misled or brainwashed?

This is an important topic because the decisions each of us make can affect others. And if you are a responsible citizen your decisions can affect large numbers of people, hopefully positively, but negatively as well.

It's been said that common sense is not something that can be taught, but I am going to disagree. I think with the right training, teaching the fundamentals behind common sense can get people to have a better sense of what it is and start practicing it. All you will need is to improve your general knowledge and gain some experience, college is a good place for that, then add a little skepticism and you are on your way to start making sensible decisions.

One of the fundamental things to remember is not to believe a statement at face value, you must first verify. Even if you believe it's from a trusted source, they may have gotten their info from a questionable one. There's a saying that journalists like to use: "if your mother said, 'I love you' you should verify it.'" While this is taking it a bit too far, you get the idea.

If you feel that something is not adding up, or doesn't make sense then you are probably right. This is all the more reason to check something out further. In the past, if someone showed a picture or video of something that was sufficient proof. But nowadays with so many videos and picture editing software, it would have to go through more verification to prove its authenticity. That's not the case with everything but that's something that often needs to be done.

One way of checking if something sounds fishy is to look at all the parties involved and what do they have to gain and lose. This sometimes is easier to use when you're dealing with a politics-related issue, but it can work for other things where more than one person/group is involved. For example, most people and countries as well will not do something that is self-destructive, so if one party is accusing the other of doing something self-destructive or disadvantageous then it's likely that there is something inaccurate about the account. Perhaps the accusing party is setting the other one up or trying to gain some praise they don't deserve.

A lot of times all it takes is a little skepticism and some digging to get to the truth. So please don't be that one which retweets rumors or helps spread misinformation. Verify before you report it.

rahma
rahma

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