When I was 13, I started dating my first "older boyfriend." He was in the eighth grade and I was in the seventh and our only form of communication was through handwritten notes in lockers.
When I was 15, I started dating someone three years older than me. This relationship lasted into college and was, what some would say, serious. I went through the high school/college relationship gap and the celebration of his 21st birthday while I still had a curfew.
I'm now 20 and my boyfriend is 31. To a lot of people, this is absurd.
"What do you even talk about?" is a question I got from a lot of my friends at the beginning, or "What do your parents think?"
But to me, it's nothing. To him, it's nothing. We are just two people who happened to really connect, despite the slight age difference. I'm still in college, he has already graduated college. He knows what I'm going through and knows that it is not impossible like I so often think it is. He encourages me to go to class, to study, to do well. He helps me when I need it and even helps my friends when they need it.
He teaches me things every day without the "I know more than you" mentality. And in some ways, I teach him things too. With an age gap like we have, there are things that we can learn from each other.
One of the most important things to me about my relationship is that my family loves him. Yes, the idea took some getting used to but they agreed that as long as he is a good guy and treats me well, that is all that matters, and he definitely has both of those qualities.
He comes home with me for holidays and birthdays. He talks football with my step-dad and video games with my brother. He helps my sister with her dog and thinks my dad's stories are cool. He thoughtfully listens to my grandma's history and jokes around with my mom. He genuinely likes them and they feel the same for him.
We work together as a team. We make goals together, work through problems together and really enjoy life together. Some of the best conversations we have are while watching the History Channel or at boneless wing night at Buffalo Wild Wings. We do not have to be hung up on how he is graying already or that my friends are all still young and wild. We have a connection on a deeper level than those things which make the whole thing work.
Genuine experiences can make or break any relationship. We enjoy going to concerts or sitting at home listening to CDs. It does not matter if we hang out all night or for a couple hours before we both have to work, we make the most out of our time together which helps grow our bond stronger every day.
I have had my fair share of toxic and all around bad-for-you relationships and have learned that all that really matters is respect, trust, caring and love. As long as you have these things it does not matter what age, race, religion, gender or any other aspects your significant other may possess.
And some advice for anyone in a position similar, forget the judgment, or the opinions of others. There will always be someone who has something mean to say about any situation. Whatever works for you is what will make you happy, which is ultimately the goal, right? To be exceptionally happy. I'm no expert, but I'd say I'm doing pretty well.
