To The Guy Who Left Me For Another Girl

To The Guy Who Left Me For Another Girl

I doubt you ever even gave me a second thought.

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I just don't think you understand. You don't understand what happens to a person when you leave them for someone else. So I guess I have to explain. It makes the person you leave feel worthless.

When you left me for another girl, I felt like I wasn't good enough. It was as if you were telling me: "you're not enough, but she is". I felt like I was trash, just thrown away and replaced by something else. But you don't care.

I doubt you ever even gave me a second thought. You told me you were leaving, kicked me out of your life, went to the other girl and never thought about me again. You made me feel like I was nothing, you rocked my confidence. You got to go on with your life, with another girl, mind you, and you never cared about how deeply you hurt me.

Do you know what it feels like to be told you aren't good enough? Do you know what that does to someone? Can you even comprehend it? Probably not, because you threw me away like garbage after making me question whether or not my entire being was good enough.

Currently, I am rebuilding some of my confidence that you haphazardly tore down. I am in the process of healing, and every day I am getting stronger. Every day I am realizing that I am beautiful, I am a good person, I am enough. I am enough for myself, my friends, my family, and plenty of guys out there. I am a strong person, and like everything else, I will get through this, because I am resilient. I will be a kind, brave person, a person you don't, and never will deserve.

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To The Girl Who's Still Crying Over the Guy She Never Dated

We've all been there, you never really dated but you might as well have...
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We’ve all been there. Every single one of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have been where you are; so let me just say, you’re not alone. No matter if your friends are the best people in the world, I’m sure they’ve had enough of your sadness over a boy who you were never really with. But that’s what’s scary, it feels like you were together. No matter the amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, no matter what, you had enough time to gain feelings for another person and be vulnerable; and that in itself is a tough pill to swallow. Now, the one person you thought would never hurt you, did just what they promised they wouldn’t do, and now you’re left putting the pieces of your life back together.

Enough of the sappy stuff. Let me tell you that life goes on. Whether over a boy, or a grade, or whatever it is, I have always told my friends, “You’re going to make it to tomorrow.” And although it seems like the hardest feat you’ve ever endured, you are going to make it to tomorrow. And then, you’re going to make it to the next day. So it may seem that the day you end things with the boy you thought you were going to be with, is the worst day in the world, you are going to make it to tomorrow.

But even though you are going to make it to tomorrow, that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t suck. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be afraid or feel weird going to the bar you once loved, or the restaurant you guys would go to a lot, or the most common place to study on campus, in fear of seeing him. All of those feelings of uncertainty are totally normal, and in time, it will fade.

My friend once told me, this too shall pass.

So while you’re sad, or crying, or complaining about this boy, your friends might be telling you, “Get over it, you were never really together.” But I promise, it may take a while (seemingly forever), and as hard as it may be to believe right now, you will make it to tomorrow, and this too shall pass. Remember that.

With love from,

The girl who knows what it's like to have to get over the boy she never dated

Cover Image Credit: onehdwallpaper

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When Everyone Around You Is In a Relationship And You're Still Single

You might feel pressure to start a relationship, but reconsider...

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I'm not sure how or when exactly it happened, but it suddenly seems like everyone I know is in a relationship. While I'm happy for them, it can be kinda...depressing. Nauseating. Exhausting.

It builds slowly at first: the subtle side-eye you give your friend as they're on the phone with their S.O., the little pang of jealousy you get when your cousin posts their engagement pictures on Facebook, the way you feel when your Snapchat Stories are full of people on cute dinner dates.

Suddenly, it's a Thursday afternoon and you just snapped over an Instagram post of your friend and his boyfriend on their anniversary. We've all been there. I may or may not be there currently.

The worst advice you can get when you're feeling down about not having an S.O. is "Don't worry! You'll find someone!"(Especially when it's coming from someone in a happy relationship).

I'm here to give you the actual advice that you (and I) need to hear. You do not need a relationship to be happy, satisfied, or whole.

Here's the truth: you're gonna be just fine without a relationship. You are young. You are educated. You are ambitious and have your whole future ahead of you.

You are a complete person on your own who does not need another person to validate you or make your life worth enjoying. I'm not saying a relationship can't be satisfying and fun. I am saying that being in a relationship is not the end all, be all of happiness.

If you are spending your time waiting for a relationship and looking for it in every person you meet, you can end up missing out on so much of your life. Instead of being jealous of every couple around you and being bitter that you can't seem to find the "right person," try figuring out how to enjoy spending time as an individual.

You will have more time to devote to exploring new interests, developing new skills, and meeting new people. Your social, emotional, and mental wellbeing will become priorities.

Plus, just because you aren't in a relationship or looking for a relationship, that doesn't mean you won't have romantic/sexual experiences. You can still go on dates and develop relationships with people you are attracted to without the pressure to turn it into a serious relationship. Once you remove that expectation from your mind, you might even find it easier to meet, talk to, and connect with people.

When you stop focusing all your energy and hopes onto being in a romantic relationship, you open the door to new experiences, opportunities, and people. Most importantly, you are able to refocus and recenter your life around growth as an individual, which will lead to a healthier and more solid basis for any future relationships.

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