To The Boy I Ran Away From, You Deserved Better Than Me
Start writing a post
Swoon

To The Boy I Ran Away From, You Deserved Better Than Me Then And You Still Do

I hope that you can find the happiness that's waiting for you.

Lauren Wetzel
Apr 30, 2019
Baylor University
668
To The Boy I Ran Away From, You Deserved Better Than Me Then And You Still Do
123rf

I've never been good with commitment. I'm afraid of someone trying to control me. I'm afraid that I won't be independent anymore. I'm afraid that I won't be able to make someone happy when they should be. The long and the short of it is this: I can't commit to anyone in a romantic sense. Friendships are easy for me to commit to. I can handle the commitment of friendship. But I can't handle the commitment of a relationship. And I guess I should have told you that before I hurt you.

It was never my intent to hurt you, and I hope you know that. I hope that you know that I never wanted to hurt your heart. I never wanted to break up our friendship. I never wanted any of that. But I panicked. I saw you opening up your heart to me and wanting to spend time with me and I panicked because I didn't think I could give you what you deserved. I didn't think that I could be the person that you wanted. I felt like I was being trapped when that wasn't what you were doing at all.

If I'm being completely honest, I never gave us the chance that we deserved. At the time, I thought that running away was the answer to my problems. If I ran far enough away fast enough, nothing would hurt me, right? But as I look back now, a few months later, I can see clearly and I can see that I never even gave us the chance that we deserved. I was so worried that I was going to be unhappy that I didn't even think of all the times that I was happy with you. I was so busy thinking about what was wrong that I never considered what was right. I saw the first chance to run and I took it. I didn't want to give us time. I didn't want to see if it was going to last. I just ran and I'm sorry about that.

So if you're reading this, you deserve better. You deserve someone who is willing to give you the moon, someone who views you as their knight in shining armor, someone who will pick you up when you're down. You deserve someone who will look at you like you're their everything. I'm sorry that I couldn't give that to you, but I know that someday someone will, and I know that you'll be happy. Because you deserve all the happiness in the world.

exes
Report this Content
Student Life

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

Siena College
15421
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
small towns
Relationships

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you.

University of New Haven
292991
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College
89913
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
waitlisted
Swoon

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

National Writers Society
152305
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
single life
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Marist College
62159
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments