It is honestly funny because, six months ago, I would kill to hear you say these things to me. But here I am, six months later, sitting on the bus going to swim practice and you decide to spill everything out.
You're only doing this because it's convenient for you. But that's okay because you're known to only care about yourself.
You say you're doing this now to protect me, but I'm confused. Why do you need to protect me from you SIX MONTHS LATER after it's over and done with?
You say you want me to hate you, but we both know that is almost impossible. I am starting to really dislike you as the person you are now.
I didn't want answers because I was just now getting over it, but you decided to tell me things I didn't want to hear. I was lost for words; all I could say to you was "why?" I almost cracked. I was going to tell you everything you did to me and how it affected me.
It made me who I am now. You taught me how to be cold-hearted, and you taught me that it's better to not have feelings.
You are the exact reason why I can't let anyone in.
You played the game really good. You smooth-talked your way through everything, and I believed you.
So now when I am talking to someone else, I cannot believe a word they say because you destroyed what little trust I had for anyone.
You say you hurt me because you had no confidence, and cheating was the only way you knew how to get out. I guess you've never been through that kind of pain, so you don't understand the feeling.
There is almost no way to explain the pain you put me through. When I found everything out, my world basically crashed and burned. I had to keep it together though. I wasn't going to show you the effect you had on me. Every time I saw you, a piece of me cracked a little more.
I went through the whole "Gilmore Girls" series on Netflix to try and distract myself from thinking of you. I did anything I could to get my mind off of you.
Luckily, it was the end of the school year, so I no longer had to pass you in the hallways. I no longer had to hear your voice because you made the attempt to make sure you were talking loud enough for me to hear.
Everyone told me not to trip over you from the beginning, but I never listened. Now I know that I should have.
But all I know, still after everything we've been through, is that I would still only want to be with you.