**Trigger warning: The content of this article may be sensitive or triggering to some people. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, there's help. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673

To say the least: you hurt me.

You destroyed me.

You took every piece of me that night. You took my strength, my dignity, and my trust. You replaced every piece of optimism in me and turned it into fear and hatred. You made me doubt everyone. You made me question everyone’s intentions. Even the most innocent of things, strike fear and worry within me. You did that. It was you who did that to me.

I know you don’t think what you did was wrong. I know you think I was delusional. I was drunk; you were drunk; we get it. But I know what I know. I sobered up the moment you didn’t stop when I said “stop,” the moment you broke boundaries. You broke my heart, and you shattered all that I had within me. Now I can never put it perfectly back together; there will always be a piece that I can never get back.

You don’t have to live with that for the rest of your life, but I do. I do.

You hurt me, and that isn’t up to you to decide. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you hurt me. You don’t get to decide if what you did was right or not. You don’t get to decide how I should feel about it. You don’t get to decide anymore because I don’t get a choice. I don’t get a choice on how this will affect me for the rest of my life, just like I didn’t get a choice that night.

You stole my voice that night; and for a few weeks following, you replaced my voice with a bottle. But, not anymore. You don’t get that power anymore.

You made others not believe me; you made them think I was lying and crazy. But, not anymore; you don’t get to do that anymore. You did what you did, and you know; I know it. You’re not fooling me, and you’re not going to fool anyone else anymore. I’m tired of running from it, running from the thought of that night, and running from every emotion I felt. So, I’m done running. I’m standing my ground. Finally.

You did this. You hurt me. This is on you and you don’t get to make me feel guilty anymore.