"You're soo skinny, you must not eat"
"Wait, how much do you weigh?"
"You're sooo lucky!"
"Why Don't You Eat a Burger"
"Skinny Bitch"
These are a few of the top comments I've heard for a portion of my life. Being African-American, there are many things that we need to watch for. Not only should we watch out for each other emotionally, but physically as well. The more we stand up for each other, the better it will look for our well being. However, one thing that the African-American community continues to struggle with is weight. Obesity is one of many things that tend to affect our community the greatest. But not just in our community, the United State's is known for being one of the most obese counties in the globe.
We are guilty of loving food that we know is soo unhealthy yet it's so good that we just simply can't not have it. I grew up in a family that was very big on making healthy decisions. I never used to be big on soda and juice, just water. I was a picky eater yet I always knew the right from the wrong. Even if my parents bought certain snacks they would make sure that I would eat in once in a while. In fact, my mom would always hide them from me to make sure that they were not within my reach. Besides that, I come from a family that never had issues with weight or any of the sorts. My Dad was always a thin guy along with my Mom. My Dad was also pretty athletic. He ran track and knew how to swim at an early age.
He could have mountains of food in front of him and would gain absolutely nothing. People absolutely could not believe their eyes. How does this little tiny person contain so much food in such short time?! Turns out that I would take after the same fast metabolism as time went on. Some of my classmates and even teachers could not believe their eyes sometimes. They just could not understand how I would eat so much and gain absolutely nothing. Some of them would get upset telling me that I should gain more weight, and others would simply just tell me how lucky I am.
Days would come where I would just simply ignore what people said. Then other days would just be a complete drag just based on what people would say depending on what it was. Sometimes I feel that I would be stared at by random people. Other days I would just get the most random people to come up to me and just ask the most absurd questions about my weight. I already have a young looking face, so I'm going to be honest and say that when people come up to me and tell me that I should gain weight or that I look unhealthy it's quite uncomfortable and frustrating. But it is not only those comments that make's me upset and tired, it's commented that my other friends make about their weight compared to mine. It makes me really upset to see my beautiful friends say that they wish they were a certain weight. It makes me upset because there is nothing wrong with them.
They are the exact normal weight that they should be, and that is what bothers me. They assume that if they were a certain size people would treat them differently. I could tell you, in all honesty, you are not defined by your weight. You are who you are. I actually don't feel lucky sometimes considering that I am small because there are certain people out there that don't take me seriously because I look like I have the body of a 12-year-old. Although I have gone through the hormones stage where I have developed more in some area's over the years, there are some area's where I wish I had more of what I originally have.
A couple years ago a friend who is no longer my friend decided that she would body shame me throughout our friendship. Me not thinking it was that damaging at first, I was soon realizing that she was taking out her insecurities on me. There were certain area's that she was bigger in. But not only was that the case, but the fact that she was white and happened to have these bigger features than I was the bigger issues. She was into African-American men and would throw in the fact that they would never be attracted to me because I happened to be a smaller looking girl. African-American women are often stereotyped for having bigger body features than white women.
The fact that I used to look in the mirror and be ashamed for not looking my race hurt my soul so deep no one understood the pain I would deal with. That was a type of pain that could never go away. Although I am no longer friends with that individual I realized many things. One was that no matter if you're skinny, fat, big, or small body shaming is a thing and it needs to be stopped! Stop comparing yourself to what you see in magazines, social media, and TV because everyone comes in their own shape.
Society is definitely to blame based on what everyone looks at as normal. Age does not matter either because no matter how old someone gets. if they do not feel satisfied with how they look they will compare themselves to other individuals thinking that this is what society would be happy with. I can't seem to tell you how many women both young and old come up to me telling me how lucky I am. But then there are other women that would just straight up say that they hate me because of my weight. Words do hurt, no matter what way you try to twist it they can effect anyone. Are some days harder than others? Absolutely! I believe that 100%. It's easy to just simply say that you will ignore someone's comments, but it is not always such a walk in the park. I've learned overtime that I simply can't help the way that I look and that I should be proud of the features that I have.
Regardless of what size or shape someone is... we're all human and we're all beautiful. No ifs and's or buts! Whether you are big or small don't EVER let someone tell you your worth just because of what you look like. I'm not 'lucky' or 'beautiful' just because I weight what I weigh. I am simply who I am because this was how I was made. I come from a family that takes care of our health and by me staying active in sports growing up it has helped me a lot when it comes to dealing with maintaining my well being.
To all my friends who keep trying to compare their weight to mine... ENOUGH! When I say you look fine I mean it, not JUST because we're friends. No matter what anyone says, body shaming IS a thing and needs to be stopped!! It happens to anyone of any size and the discrimination needs to come to an end. I'm sick and tired of society defining us, and I wish that we could all live our lives in the best way possible both emotionally and physically. If there are some that choose to join the gym it's because THEY want to! If others decide they want to form a healthier diet it's THEIR decision. Leave them to it, and stop the staring. I am not unhealthy because I look a certain way. How about mind your own business and have a nice day! That goes for everyone.
