I don’t remember the first time I thought I was “fat.” It’s as if there has always been a voice in the back of mind telling me that my physical appearance defines my worth. In the third grade, I recall consciously sucking in my stomach to seem thinner and loathing the way I looked in a bathing suit. Even at such a young age I was fully aware that I lacked the body that made me desirable, so naturally I felt like a failure. As unhealthy as this behavior may have been, it was by no means abnormal for girls my age.

A recent study shows that over 80 percent of 10-year-old girls are afraid of being fat. This means that as of right now, most little girls in the fourth and fifth grade are heading off to school each day with this heavy weight of anxiety constantly pressing down on their shoulders. Additionally, over 70 percent of girls ages 15-17 avoid daily activities such as attending school because they are feeling ashamed about the way that they look. Negative body image creates such a tremendous amount of stress within girls that they are unable to live freely. I would like to say that this epidemic of unhealthy body image improves with age but unfortunately, it only gets worse. An alarming 91 percent of adult women feel unsatisfied with their bodies, making body image issues a nearly unavoidable part of being a woman. It goes without saying that this is no way to live. Women are taught from the time that we are born that our worth is tied to our looks, which is a tremendous amount of pressure because only 5 percent of women naturally obtain what is considered to be the “ideal body.” With society set up in such a way, countless girls are tossed into a war against themselves before they even leave grade school which inevitably creates complications later in life. People who suffer a negative body image are likely to develop low self-esteem and are at higher risk for depression, drug use, eating disorders, and even suicidal thoughts or actions. It is vitally important that adult women learn to love themselves so that we can empower the younger generations to do the same. With time we can change this epidemic and make loving our bodies the new normal. A woman who loves every inch of herself is a force to be reckoned with.

Here are some tips to overcome body image issues. Everyone is different and finds strength in different ways but these are the techniques that I found to be most helpful:

1. Nurturing your inner-child.

An incredible woman once asked me if I would speak to a child in the same way that I spoke to myself. At the time, my answer was a gigantic "no." I couldn’t fathom calling a child ugly, or fat, or shaming them for any aspect of their appearance. She then asked me why I held a different standard for myself. I was flabbergasted and I didn’t quite have an answer for her. She explained to me the importance of nurturing oneself as you would love and care for a child. Our minds and bodies might grow and mature with age but our inner child always remains.Being mindful of my inner child allowed me to drastically alter the ways in which I talk to myself (which brings me to the next technique).

2. Positive self-talk.

I don’t mean literal outward conversations with oneself, (although if that’s your thing then that’s totally cool, too) I am referring to the thoughts that we have about ourselves. Perhaps you see a picture of yourself online and your thoughts go something like “Gosh, I am so fat and my face looks hideous.” Thoughts like this are not only unproductive but they are abusive. It is highly possible (and far too common) to be in an abusive relationship with oneself. If you find that you are in this situation then you should know that it is highly possible to change. At first, the positive self-talk might feel fake and that’s okay, you just have to keep going. If you tell yourself that you are a “fierce, bad ass with beautiful thighs” every day then no matter how crazy it feels at first, you will eventually believe it. I challenged myself to practice this technique for only a week and the effects were so strong that I never stopped.

3. Learn to love the things that you hate most about yourself.

We believe that our flaws are negative because they don’t match up with society’s bullshit beauty standards. We have been brainwashed since birth to recognize our flaws as shameful which is why it is so difficult to love what we see in the mirror. Why can’t stretch marks be beautiful? Why can’t cellulite be awesome? It is possible to unlearn self-loathing behavior and alter your perception of your body. Decide that your flaws are kick-ass and to hell with anyone who says otherwise. They are merely brainwashed by our superficial society and blinded by their own insecurities.

4. Remember that self-love is a journey rather than a destination.

When in the midst of recovering from negative body image it is incredibly easy to feel frustrated on bad days. Try not to judge yourself. If after many days of practicing top notch self-care you slip up and treat yourself badly, don’t beat yourself up further. Accept yourself for where you are at in your journey and honor all that you feel. Bad days are inevitable but with time, they will grow fewer and farther between which makes the journey all the more worthwhile. There is no end point to loving yourself but rather a continuing journey for the rest of your life.