You hear people say they're friends with their exes all of the time. That's what society has conditioned into us: be civil, be polite, end things on a good note without regrets. But that's not always what should happen. That's not always healthy for you.
We were blessed with a block button for a reason. Creating distance is crucial to recovery in a breakup, whether the relationship was healthy or toxic. It's given the reputation of being "childish" and "immature," but taking yourself out of a painful situation is necessary and beneficial to your life. Here's what five people have to say in defense of slamming that block button after a relationship ends.
1. You need that complete disconnection.
"If it ended in a negative or a rough way then you need that complete disconnection from them in order to move on from the relationship. Not just so they can't see you, but so you can't see them. You won't fully move on if you keep checking on them constantly. I don't think it's petty to remove someone from your Internet life once they've already been removed from your personal one."
2. You're likely to see them every time you log in.
"It's part of the healing process I think. It's not easy going through a breakup, you don't need it worsened by seeing your ex on social media every time you log in. The algorithms on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc, work in a way that boosts those who you interact with frequently to the top of your page. Coming out of a relationship, you're likely to keep seeing them every time you log in. If you're a worrier like me, every time you see them post you'll wonder, 'Why aren't they miserable?' or 'Why wasn't I enough?'"
3. Your heart cannot heal the way it deserves to.
"Your heart cannot heal the way it deserves to if you're subjected to your ex's every day life. The pain of watching them go to your favorite places without you, finding someone new, or using their social media to potentially manipulate you is. Not. Worth. it. You need to heal in peace, especially if you're coming out of an abusive or toxic relationship. Removing all that negativity from your life is integral to the healing process. Life goes on, but it won't feel like that if you keep living in the past keeping tabs on your ex on social media. Don't feel bad about it, don't let them make you feel bad about it. Know it's okay to take care of yourself after a relationship ends and click that block button."
4. Out of sight, out of mind.
"It's best for your healing and happiness to block an ex. My ex was very emotionally abusive, controlling and manipulative, and that continued even after our breakup. I decided that in order for me to move on and heal I needed to block him. I didn't want to see any of his social media and I didn't want him to see mine. I found myself unable to receive the closure I needed with him, and each time we contacted each other I would find myself feeling worse. I blocked him on everything and felt a million times better. Out of sight, out of mind. Some people are better left in the past."
5. You want to live your own life.
"I think if your relationship was strained and you just want that negativity out of your life or you think they're not getting the message that you want things to be over, then it's reasonable to block their number. In your defense, you want to live your own life without having to worry about someone else always checking in on how you're doing if you don't want them in your life."
Blocking gets a negative connotation because it's deemed as immature and it's assumed that all relationships end in a semi-healthy way. That's just not the case. Sometimes, the best form of closure is none at all. Sometimes, you just need to slam that block button as hard as you can and work to rediscover who you were without them in your life.
It doesn't mean you're immature, it doesn't mean you care enough to block them. It means you care enough about yourself to not continually see and speak to them. Do what's best for you and your wellbeing.
File:Bullet Train Kyoto Japan 1997.JPG - Wikimedia Commons
