Black And White

There has never been a gray area for me in anything. I am an all-or-nothing person, no in-between. I refuse to test the waters; I jump in with both feet. I've never known how to be someone with a middle ground in any sort of friendship or relationship. I put my all into everything, even though I've been told to wait and see. I can't go half way. That's just not who I am.

More often than not, when you're a person with loves with your entire heart and soul you're faced with times where you regret being the way you are. You learn that you care too much, too quickly, and usually end up burned. You wonder why you can't learn how to take things as they come, or why you care so much for someone who hardly thinks about you. Parents and friends will remind you to "take things slowly" or "don't dive in head first." But even though they continuously remind you of what happens when you jump into things, your mind refuses to pump the breaks and listen to them. Eventually, you wish it would stop, or hope that it is just a phase you're going through.

This is not a flaw or a phase. This is a magnificent part of you that truly encompasses who you are as a person and exemplifies how you choose to live your life. This part of you is a risk taker. This piece of you is what keeps you feeling alive. This specific trait makes you unique. Being a person who gives 100 percent straight from the beginning shows that you trust that person by making yourself vulnerable to them. This trait shows that you are willing to be raw and real with someone, that you want that person to see you for who you truly are. Your willingness to let your guard down for someone is hard to come by.

It is okay to dive into things head first, but with that I want to say that it isn't an easy trait to have. Right from the beginning you will want to give your entirety to someone.You'll want to devote every waking moment to them. You'll put in all your effort to the relationship. You will truly feel a sense of joy by giving them everything you have to offer. It took me a while to learn, but not everyone is worth deserving of that you wish to give them. Just because they let you shower them with your emotions doesn't mean that they will reciprocate. If you can learn to recognize that not everyone loves like you do, things become easier.

After going through many of life's adventures, I've learned to be okay with the fact that I do things with all my effort. It's okay to be the person who loves with their entire being. It's okay to jump into the deep end first. There is nothing wrong with putting all of your emotions into your relationships. If I were to do things half way I wouldn't be me.

I am proud to jump in with both feet.

I am proud that I don't have a middle ground.

"I don't know what gray is. I never did."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Some people are so good at downplaying their sadness that even they don't realize how much they do it. When you ask them how they are they will always say that they are good, even when they aren't. They exhaust themselves by plastering an energetic and carefree persona in the spaces that you watch them in because at least to you they can control how they appear. They can pretend to be the happy person they want to be when everyone is telling them how funny and bubbly they are all the time.

Keep Reading... Show less

About a year ago, I began my own fitness journey. Growing up, I had played soccer and kept busy, but after an injury cut my soccer career short I suddenly became very inactive. It took years of misfires before I finally found a new active passion for weight lifting. Getting started is never easy, and setting up for success is the best plan of action to assist anyone in your life who is thinking about starting their own journey. These are a few items you can gift for the fitness rookie in your life:

Keep Reading... Show less

I oftentimes (excessively) use the excuse of my job as a writer to justify my excessive spending habits.

I needed the new Huda Beauty palette before anyone else in the name of journalistic integrity. It was my job to test out the new Francis Kurkdjian fragrance to make sure I could tell people whether or not it was truly worth the splurge (it was).

Keep Reading... Show less

The beaches are starting to open up. At least in Cape Cod, where my family and I were able to vacation this week. Near our house, we have a bit of a private beach, which is great.

Keep Reading... Show less

Mental health is not an easy endeavor. It's not a fad. It's not a bandwagon that you can hop on and off of whenever you want to. Your yearly dose of sadness is not depression. I'm not here to define what depression — or anxiety, or any other type of mental health issue looks like — but I will tell you what it's not.

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Sonnie Hiles on Unsplash

Whether it's dealing with a global pandemic or getting fired from your job, the fear of not knowing can become consuming if it isn't controlled. Below are some easy ways to take back control and establish a peace of mind.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

My South Asian Roots Inspire My Future Career As Both A Scientist And Journalist — Here's How

Being born to culturally diverse parents, I feel like I have the best of both worlds!

Erikka Chowdhury

To all of those who don't know me, I'm an American girl with South Asian parents who have carved their own niche as immigrants in the USA.

Keep Reading... Show less

I sometimes look back at the days when I had anorexia and think to myself what would have happened if I had taken another bite? Nowadays, I spend days dreading over my figure and wondering if the old sundresses and outfits even fit. I tell myself that they do, but I feel like reality holds a different truth.

Keep Reading... Show less

I remember the days where closet drinking before going to a party or bar was part of the night's itinerary. It was a requirement to have a good buzz flowing before calling the Uber to take you to that bar where you see everyone from your high school at. The pregames were the best part of the night, but it wasn't ever because of the alcohol, it was because of the atmosphere and those who were in it. The number of times I've heard "Wait, why aren't you drinking tonight? C'mon, get drunk with us" is endless, but think about it. Where were you when you were asked that? You were at the goddamn pregame and being there doesn't mean you need to be ripping shots. Being social doesn't require alcohol.

I asked 20 people how they cut back on alcohol while still being social.

Keep Reading... Show less

Listen, you can do whatever you want with your free time. It's yours to spend and you have free range. However, I hope you recognize that there are a ton of proactive things you can do right now instead of stalking your man's ex – yes, I know you do it becuase we are all guilty of it.

Take this time to research your privilege. There are always new things to learn and ways to deepen your understanding of yourself, this world, and your surroundings. We live in a multi-dimensional, ever-changing society that needs your help and your time. By that, I mean there are so many layers to each and every one of us, and with our physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional selves, we can create real, positive change.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments