I had an interesting conversation with my dance students today. It's actually a conversation I've had many times. It starts with them asking me about the dance industry and it ends with me alerting them of the reality of racial discrimination in the industry. Growing up, I was unaware of the types of racial inequality I would experience later on in life. Every day my mother would tell me how brilliant and beautiful I was. I now know this is because she knew my darker skin tone would cause hardships in my life, and she wanted me to know self-love.

When I became interested in boys, I began to notice the color divide even more. In high school, I had guys tell me I wasn't beautiful, call me a "Blackie" and say ignorant things like, "If it ain't bright, it ain't right." All of these disgusting slurs were in reference to only dating fair skinned women. I began to notice an internally growing envy towards light skinned women. I was disgusted with myself and didn't like anything about my features except my long, straight hair. At the age of 24, I decided to cut all of my hair off. My choice to cut my long, permed, European-esque hair was a big deal. So much of my identity was wrapped in my hair being accepted as beautiful, which was the main feature that people would compliment me on. At the time, I was in a long-term relationship with a man I knew truly loved me for me. He had a huge impact on my developmental growth into being a more confident dark skinned woman. I expressed to him that I wanted to cut my tresses and he gave me the support I needed to move forward with the decision. My father is an incredible man, however, he grew up in a time where he was told natural hair was not considered beautiful. Needless to say, my father wasn't too pleased with my decision to do the big chop. Having a man in my life to support my decision to chop my hair off, and still call me beautiful, was the positivity I needed to see my true self. Going from only feeling pretty for having long hair to feeling gorgeous with my overall natural beauty, was an incredible experience.

If you look closely, you can see a preference for more fair skin tones all of over social media, in music videos, and in advertisements. Being told "No" is a norm in the entertainment industry, but for some reason it seems to pull a deeper internal string as a dark skinned woman when I'm told "No." I've experienced being turned down from numerous dance jobs because of my skin tone. I've also experienced actually being hired for jobs because deep down I knew they needed that one token black girl to fill that role.Those moments don't always feel like an achievement. Even though I know I'm incredibly talented, I do feel as if I receive certain roles more so because I'm black rather than my talent. No, I'm not paranoid or sensitive. This is a very common reality in the industry for myself, and for thousands of other entertainers. Numerous movies and television shows have made references to this notion of having a token black person. Take a look at the NBA dance teams. A majority of the women are Caucasian, a fair amount are Hispanic, and Asian and the lowest amount are Black. It is plain to see that most companies have just enough black people to meet the quota of looking racially accepting.

As a dark skinned woman, I've had my moments of feeling inferior. I can't lie and say I've always had the most confidence and I do still struggle with it. It takes some really tough skin to make it in the entertainment industry, and even tougher skin to make it in this world. Imagine walking into a ballet class or dance audition, being maybe 1 out of 3 other black women, in a room of over 100 dancers, in a genre that black people don't typically do, and feeling like you have to represent for your whole race in order to break that stigma. That has been my reality for over 17 years. I've always felt like I had to prove that my blackness didn't discount me from being a great dancer in genres dominated by Caucasian women. When I tell people I dance, they automatically say "Oh! So you can teach me hip hop!"...really? That stigma is one of the most annoying, and downright offensive things I deal with too often. I spent 17+ years going through grueling training, in multiple genres, just to automatically be categorized into one genre based on the color of my skin. I quickly alert them that I am a technically trained dancer that started in Ballet, Modern, and Jazz at the age of 8, and didn't start training in hip-hop until I was 19 years old. It is just now becoming the norm to see a black ballet dancer publicized more often, but she is viewed as a world wonder when there are thousands of incredible Black ballet dancers around the world.

I tend to receive confused looks when I tell people rock music is my favorite musical genre, I enjoy skateboarding, and they realize that I can speak eloquently. Speaking properly has been viewed as a Caucasian trait in my community, and is often referred to as acting "White." Having proper grammar, and enunciation is considered as being "A well spoken black woman" in the Caucasian community. I do partially blame my community for promoting these stigmas towards our behavior through social media outlets like WorldstarHipHop reposting fight videos, and videos of little black children acting uneducated, instead of regularly promoting black excellence. Even the idea of interracial dating is more accepted now, but it still has negative stigmas attached to it. I would date, marry, and have children with a white man or any man from any race for that matter, and being referred to as "A negro bed wench" is absolutely unacceptable. All because I choose to not discriminate when it comes to my love life. It's a sad reality that many of us live in on a day-to-day basis.

I understand that during slavery things were ingrained in our ancestors that made them feel divided from other races due to the color of their skin, but they also experienced division by the shade of their skin tone within their own community. At some point, we do have to realize just how ridiculous this cycle is, take responsibility for the future of our community, and stop the nonsense ourselves. Every race has their hardships, and no hardship is inferior to the next. Having to deal with a new level of hardship for just your skin tone, at every turn in your life, can become unbearably exhausting. Many people won't experience this kind of discrimination in their lifetime. Now that I've begun to master my view on my own beauty, and identity, I do worry for my future children, niece, nephew, and students being told that they are inferior due to the melanin in their skin. It hurts my heart to know that they will possibly still experience such soul breaking discrimination. I will continue to dedicate myself to being a part of the movement to love the skin you're in. I do it for the people that look up to me, but I also do it for the little girl within me who didn't believe she was beautiful because girl, you are more than enough.