All my life, I have been told to love the skin I’m in. However, by America, by the black community, by friends, by enemies, and everyone in between, I have been told the opposite; because I’m too dark and not their definition of what beauty is and it sucks.

I can remember being as young as 5 years old and getting teased for my dark skin. I would go home and scrub my skin as hard as I could, trying to wash the black away. I would cringe every time I heard the word “darkie”, and I would wish I were lighter because then maybe people would like me more. I would try to claim other races, but nobody believed me. Why would they? To them, I was “dark as night.”

You see, it’s from a young age that colorism is instilled into a child. Colorism is the prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group. Colorism, like racism, can have detrimental effects to not only those who face it, such as myself, but to communities as a whole. It promotes the worst kind of hate among black people, self-hate, and countless people fail to see it.

The ideas of colorism go all the way back to slavery. Back in those times, the people of lighter skin tones were the house slaves, while darker people were considered field slaves. This stereotype was further perpetuated as dark-skinned women, as well as most black women, were forced to work as maids in the 1960's because they had no other skills. This completely desexualized them and forced them into strictly motherly roles and left them no choice and no voice in America.

It is sad to say that many people, especially in the black community, still carry this mentality and way of thinking about dark-skinned women today. In trying to separate themselves and make themselves feel as though they are more important than others, they make themselves more of a problem than a solution to the ever-growing struggles of Black America.

Contrary to popular belief, colorism is more than just “not liking dark-skinned women”. Colorism is everything from denouncing dark-skinned women to only liking a certain type of dark-skinned woman. What most people in the black community do is say they “love” dark-skinned women, and only describe a certain type. However, when they see real dark-skinned women in the real world, they often see them as less beautiful than other women or only “pretty for a dark-skinned girl”.

I can remember countless times in my life when I have been called “pretty for a dark-skinned girl." Most people think of this as a compliment, however, I see it as insulting to the true beauty I, and so many women like me, hold inside. Dark-skinned women, like all women, have a struggle that no one will ever know.

What people fail to realize and the reason this article is so important is that dark-skinned women are being eradicated by EVERYONE. On social media, they are being shunned and made fun of. On TV, they are being “lightened” and edited, if they even appear at all, and in our communities, they are getting treated as less than human, as the girl you hide. But we are so much more. We deserve respect, not ridicule. Growing up every day being judged for something you cannot change is something NO ONE should ever have to face alone. Yet, most of the time, our cries for help and support go unnoticed and we are labeled as “needy”, “ghetto” or simply unworthy by society. When will we free the dark-skinned woman and allow her to be more than a mother, more than a friend, more than someone you hide? When will we allow her to be whoever she wants to be?

I’m not saying that every dark-skinned woman has to be beautiful to you. However, I am advocating that you see past the color of her skin and truly give her a chance as a person to simply be great, just as you would anyone else. The next time you see a little dark-skinned girl, tell her that she is absolutely beautiful, show her positive role models and above all, just love her. Teach her to love herself.