I’m sure at one point in a true bitchy girl's life, she had the hopes and dreams of one day walking down the aisle in a beautifully expensive wedding dress, towards a man who was crying, (because A. she looked so beautiful it hurt and B. he was kinda afraid of what he was getting himself into) then going on a magical honeymoon where the booze was prepaid and you know, the fantasy suite was a whole week long. Then this true bitchy girl grew up, went to college, and realized that dating and men were not all they were talked up to be, and now fears that the strongest relationship she’ll ever have is the one between herself, her favorite bottle of chardonnay and her DVR. No, I’m not insinuating bitchy girls are lesbians, but what I am getting at here is the fact that we are probably forever alone because we are so damn picky. But hey, why would a Blake Lively settle for a Chad from JoJo's season of The Bachelorette??

Freshman year of college is filled with stress, stress eating, drunk eating and being completely overwhelmed with all of the testosterone surrounding us at all times. I mean literally everyday, there is ample opportunity to stumble upon at least ten hot dudes. Eventually, if you’re a true bitchy girl, you go out of your way to find out (stalk) who the hot dudes are and make it blatantly obvious you’re interested. One drunken meeting at the bar and BAM you’ve set your hook and reeled in your first college hunk. All seems right in the world until you notice something is off about what was at first a seemingly perfect human. Is it his teeth? Breath? His sheets aren’t comfortable? He’s not 6’1? Whatever it might be, there is something nagging at you, something that completely changes your immense amount of lust and desire to pure disregard and aloofness. No worries, you saw ten other hot dudes in the gym today, you’ll bounce back, you tell yourself.

Well damn- it’s senior year, and your Facebook timeline has gone from bid day pics and high school graduation announcements to engagement and baby photo albums quicker than the ending of Kim K and Kris Humphries’ marriage. Thanks to whatever genetic trait we bitchy girls have, we for some reason are still painfully single, but why? Because ever since freshman year, we have been picky little brats. Seriously, I think this should be considered a psychological disease. We have come up with every reason in the book to end things, which are probably for the better because most guys in college are tools, and now all of our friends are talking about engagements and honeymoons and were sitting here like, hello, bitch pass me the mimosa tower.

Personally, I think being picky sucks, and it’s pretty rude of us to be so damn picky, especially knowing that humans aren’t perfect. Although our bitchy girl genes have it programmed in our minds that there is such thing as a perfect guy out there who will smell amazing at all times, be the right height, weight, eye color, live in the right zip code and have a perfect relationship with his mother, we have got to wake up! If we want our futures to entail wine alone on the couch watching Dancing with the Stars without anyone to commentate it with, then fine, keep up the picky behavior. But if we want someone to love and appreciate us for all our bitchy glory, we need to give the male species minimal credit and recognize when a perfectly good nine point five is vowing for our love and affection.

Blake Lively’s should never settle for Chads, but we most certainty should settle for the Nicks or Jareds or even Daniels (I know he has a soft side in there somewhere).