1. Rasheed Wallace.
This is an easy one. Like, the easiest one of all time. There's so much to choose from. First, you have the record for most ever technical fouls and ejections—just crushing all the other NBA malcontents. Yeah. Even Rodman. Then you have the whole event where he stared down the biggest d**k in the reffing industry so hard he got a technical for that. That's raw intimidation and balls. He just looked at Jim Crawford so hard he shit himself and to save face called a foul. Who else could do that. Noone but Rasheed. Finally we have what some consider the greatest disgrace to basketball of all time: the Malice in the Palace or The Battle at Auburn Hills. I actually rather like it, other than a fat guy getting his s***t rocked. I think it gives the sport some needed personality. And it gives us all a reason to think about the Pacers and the Pistons every so often.
If you listen carefully, you can hear Rip Hamilton yell "Rasheed no!" as Rasheed leaps into the stands to defend his fans.
In reality I just love and miss Rasheed and suffer a mighty case of The Need for Sheed.
2. Shawn Kemp
The dunks. Just the dunks and all the illegitimate kids. Also, they called him "Rain Man" which is pretty dope. He made Seattle cool before people really tried hard to make it cool. He made the random, rain soaked citizens of that beautiful city happy and joyful for several years. Nothing in life looks like it would be more fun than being a Supersonics fan while the Rainman was slamming and copulating his way through the NBA.
3. Dennis Rodman
I don't need to explain this. If you don't already know, then you don't deserve to.
4. Larry Bird
He was the best trash talker in the game. Seriously, look it up. Actually, I'm not sure you can. But ask around about his special Christmas-time trash talking. Or you could just find me and I'll tell you. I like to talk so I won't mind. And Look at this face: 
A face that would otherwise belong under a pointed hood. I guess that's why they called him the Hick from French Lick, given he never did anything to indicate that he was racist. But still, that face.
5. Magic Johnson
He was raw electricity. The smile won him more than for anything else. Plus, he and Larry saved basketball. Screw Jordan. He benefitted from them. He could pass the ball better than any human to ever hold a basketball. We all know that he was as cool as can be.
