Hopefully, it will never come to choosing between your best friend and your lover. In an ideal world those two vital positions would be held by the same person—however, that’s not always the case. If on some dark day you are asked to choose, here’s why you should choose your best friend:
1. They don't care how you look.
Throw personal hygiene out the window. Don’t shave your legs or armpits for a month? Who cares? Your best friend sure doesn’t. Feel free to FaceTime him/her from a low angle. If your double chin makes an appearance, it’s all good. (Although they might let you know you’ve got a few bats in the cave).
2. Same sense of humor.
Your best friend is one of the few people in the world that appreciates all the same memes as you. If you send her a six-minute long YouTube video—captioned “This is HILARIOUS”—she will watch the entire thing. That’s love, baby.
3. Endless lounging.
Your best friend understands that you get winded after about three hours of prolonged interpersonal interaction. Chances are that when you two meet up you don’t even bother going out. As it turns out, he/she just found a new show on Netflix that they know you’ll love.
4. Social buffer.
Perhaps anyone could keep you from having to make small talk with the boy who’s had a crush on you since freshman year—but a lover is much less likely to take up a grudge against the girl who called you homely in high school. Best friends act as a shield and a confidence boost; giving you a bit more swagger in your step and courage to face the world.
5. Partner in all your endeavors.
Trying to go vegan? Your best friend will attempt the lifestyle change with you. Thinking about taking up rock climbing? They’ll certainly hold your rope. Remember when your mother said: if your friends all jumped off of a cliff, would you do it too? Well, your best friend’s answer is most certainly: I sure as hell would.
6. Self-esteem police.
Everyone is down on themselves sometimes, and your best friend understands that. But the moment you start disparaging your looks/personality/talent is the moment your bestie has something to say. They’re going to remind you that your worthy of love, happiness, and all of life’s good things—until you start believing that yourself.
7. Advice
A good best friend will try their best to be gentle and impartial when imparting sage wisdom. Not everyone looks good in the color coral—it’s better you know now than find out later when the group photos start popping up on Instagram. You can always trust your best friend to tell you the truth.
8. No sexy times.
This may seem like a con to some, but in a lot of ways it’s a pro. Think about how much grooming and worrying and preparation goes into being sexual with someone. Really think about it. I’ll wait… With your best friend none of that is necessary; and the only thing you’re liable to catch from them is mono, because you can’t be bothered to drink out of your own glass.
9. The secrets come out.
A best friend is a one-stop shop for all things secret. They know that your best friend’s older brother kissed you when you were twelve. They know about the time you shat yourself in a bowling alley. They even know who your last lover was. (Haha! That’s right. And guess what? They don’t care.) Even better—you know all of their secrets, which ensures that none of yours will ever get out…
10. No spark.
Sparks—even raging fires—die out eventually. Passion fades. Bits and pieces grow saggy and wrinkled. Your best friend will stick around through all of that, because their reason for hanging out with you has nothing to do with lust or desire. They simply enjoy your company, and there is nothing quite so flattering as that.
11. Pooping.
Let’s be real. Is it even a best friendship if you can’t SnapChat them while on the toilet, doing your business?
