I have heard about depression and fatal effects but, it has never crossed my mind that I would come so close to it. My best friend, since 6th-grade, was an upbeat and chill person. I later discovered that a smile on the inside didn't mean you were 100% happy. My best friend claimed that she did not want to be here anymore. She decided this because she was tired of people distancing themselves from her. Having a friend struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts is not easy. Especially when you're the only one that knows about it. And, besides their family, the only one who cares. But, I will never forget that I found out about her depression. But the challenges do not matter if I can support my best friend.
In mid-June, via text, my best friend told me that she had something to say. My best friend texted me, in disgust that she had taken a few of her mother's sleeping pills. I was in a state of shock and disbelief because I had no idea what to say or do. I have heard about people doing this before, but I never thought I would experience it so close. As months rolled by our other friend got distant. And, my friend said that I was the only one who cared. So, I felt that it was up to me to help my best friend through this dark time. I had to help her through all of this, make sure she is ok. I was my best friend's keeper.
It is has been five months since I have found out and it has been a hard journey. It has been hard sometimes, but I persevere through it all. With my best friends depression, there are nights where she feels as if she is through with it all and we talk through it all night. Or, the most difficult times is when she has those "if I weren't here anymore" thoughts and I text her but, she gives me no response at for the rest of the night.
Those nights I get afraid that, thankfully she messages me again in the morning. I admit that I get frustrated at times because, I do not what to say, or how to react. But, as long I tell her that she has a purpose and her life matters, she calms down. Yes, it can get hard sometimes but, as long as I have saved her life, that is enough satisfaction for me.
I have learned many things from my experience. First is that people with depression just want someone to talk and listen to them and a judgement-free zone. Also, you should not badger them to get help, but, to encourage them. Most importantly I have learned that even though my best friend needed me, I needed her the most. There have been times when I though I had not a friend in the world, and she always remained by my side.
I will be there for my best friend, no matter what she is going through. It is my duty to be my friend and help her through it all. Pick her up when she is down and guide her on her way. And, that is why I am and will eternally be, my best friend's keeper.
