I Made A Commitment To Loving My Boyfriend, And Your Opinion About My Sexual Experience Is Irrelevant

I Made A Commitment To Loving My Boyfriend, And Your Opinion About My Sexual Experience Is Irrelevant

"There is a difference with sleeping with someone and sleeping with someone you love."


Yes, curiosity exists in our everyday lives. It is a natural element that we experience every moment of every day. I find myself being curious as to how my life would be different if I went to a different high school if I hadn't joined the swim team, if I had been born a year earlier or a year later. There is no denial that curiosity plays a large role in who we are, and who we hope to become one day. That being said, that does not mean that I am always curious as to what else is out there. In fact, I am beyond happy in my three and a half year relationship, and I would not change anything for the world.

At a family get together, I was hit with the question of "If you've only ever tasted chocolate, how do you know you don't like strawberry or mint chocolate chip?" Truthfully, this hit me hard. It hit me harder than I would have imagined, and it hit my boyfriend even harder. It was true. We have only ever been with each other, and have only ever experienced each other's bodies. I found myself wondering what else there was, and if I were truly missing out on something. And then I realized something.

Something groundbreaking.

Something that affects me and my relationship positively even to this day. It doesn't and shouldn't matter to me what I am "missing out on," simply because I am so in love with this man. I love everything about him, and I would rather have someone that understands me, my body, and my emotions to rely on, rather than to sleep around with everyone. As it seems, the people who tend to ask my boyfriend and me similar questions to the one mentioned above are individuals who are typically part of the hookup culture.

Because these people are more used to having casual sex, they are not able to fully understand what it is like to feel a deep connection both physically and spiritually with the person they are having sex with. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with people feeling comfortable enough in their body to share their body with multiple individuals, that is not who I am, and something I do not see myself ever being comfortable doing.

The way I see it at least, is that if you love someone and are happy, why worry about what else may or may not be out there? As Bert Lance was once quoted with, "If it ain't broke, why fix it?" In other words, if something is working for you and it is not broken, there is no need to attempt to find a new way to "fix" it. The same can be said for my relationship. While we may argue, at the end of the day, our relationship is held together with our love and support of each other. Therefore, there is no need to search for other experiences when we have found what we believe to be the perfect experience within each other's bodies.

I recognize that I may spend the rest of my life wondering what I could have experienced with other people, but I also recognize that I have a love unlike any other, and that is something beyond special. Being able to share with your future children that you have only spent your life loving and being loved by one person is an extremely emotional concept and one that I can't wait to brag about.

I made a verbal and emotional commitment to spend as much of my life as possible loving him, and your opinion about my sexual experience is irrelevant.

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Marriage Is Great But It's Not The Best

Not even marriage could ever completely satisfy us.


You know what I think is wonderful? Marriage. A lot of people will say marriage is hard. And it's true. It is hard, but it's also really lovely. Marriage in itself is one of the most beautiful, sacred pieces of life. A covenant that declares an everything-ness with one person, a sharing of truly everything- of schedule, of bed, of kisses, of laughs, of one another. When you say yes, you're literally saying, "Yes. I'd like to do everything with you, in all the places, all the time. Ready, go."

Sometimes I'll glance up at Nolan and just in awe that I'm allowed to do this. Like, I get to wake up and there he is, I can hug him anytime I want, I can bear all of my tears in front of him, I can tell him anything.

I just can't believe that I am allowed to let another know me so fully.

What a privilege to be known.

And once to be known, to be loved.

Ultimately, I think this is what everyone is longing for. Someone to truly know them. To be appreciated in their fullness and slowly unraveled from bookend to bookend. And then after everything is said and done, to have that someone look you in the eyes and say, 'Yes, you are exactly what I'm looking for.'

Even in the tightest, most open, most caring and forgiving marriage, or any relationship really, there will still be points of disappointment. There'll be moments of hurt and disbelief, moments of humility and perseverance. Moments when that person you share everything with, will let you down.

And this is why it isn't the best.

Marriage is the deepest union on earth, and yet even marriage cannot fulfill our deepest needs or satisfaction as human beings. There'll be moments when the gaps of our humanity will bear full sunlight and it will be clear that we as humans cannot 'complete each other.'

I remember in our second month of marriage, I was standing in our living room with big, plump tears rolling out of my eyes. Nolan had let me down. I can't even remember what he did, or maybe didn't do. The one thing I do remember, though, was the combination of my high expectations and his humanity, all resulting in a very vivid disappointment when he didn't meet them. I had placed Nolan on a pedestal, and in a way, was expecting more of him than he could offer. Nolan was never made for me. He was never made to complete me. This is not his destiny or his sole purpose. Nolan was made for something a lot bigger than me; he was made for Someone who could love him to full capacity, and so was I.

The only best, the only perfection, and the only hope that I or Nolan can fully know and rely on without any anticipation of disappointment, without separation, is with Jesus. A man that lived grace knew humanity to its worst degree, and yet still chose to bear a brutal death so that He could enter into a relationship with me. So that He could, in all of His knowledge, tell me, "Yes, you are exactly what I'm looking for." So that I could then give him every piece of myself, allowing Him to transform me. He is the best thing for us.

"But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you" Isaiah 43: 1-4

This, my friend, is the best relationship you could ever have.

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If You Would Leave Your Significant Other If They Didn’t Have A Dollar To Their Name, It’s Not True Love

Money will get you anything you want, unless it's a fairy tale romance.


We have all heard about the Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos split. Jeff Bezos's fortune amounts to 140 BILLION dollars. With that money, he could have bought absolutely anything in the world that he wanted. I mean, what would you choose to buy with that wealth? However, in the end, the one thing he couldn't buy was, clearly, a happy marriage.

Let's take a moment to imagine that you jump into the future 50 years. What aspects of your life are you reflecting on?

Are you thinking about the outfits you wore, the status you showed off with your nice car, and all the money you had to spend on things you wanted?

Or are you measuring the quality of your life through the relationships you had with others? Maybe, most significantly, a romantic relationship?

If you've turned on the radio recently, you'll know that it's no secret that one thing almost everyone desires the MOST is true love.

Our society has learned to laugh at that notion, saying that companionate/ realistic love is really the only type of romance people get in real life.

So what do we do? We turn to money. It fills all the emotional voids we have in our unfulfilling lives. Yes, our unfulfilling lives. If you were satisfied with every aspect of your life, there would be no need for spending money aside from survival essentials.

When you turn your back on the idea of true love because you deem it "unreal" and turn to money, you may as well call yourself Alexander Hamilton because you are setting yourself up for a long life of feeling unsatisfied. Because, the truth is, fairy tale romances do actually exist.

But money will never buy it for you.

In fact, it may distract you and create the illusion of true love. Just because you enjoy the fancy gifts, homes, and trips someone can provide you does not mean you are absolutely, truly, head over heels in love with them.

If you wouldn't be with your partner if they didn't have a dollar to their name, it's not true love.

You can't pay for someone to truly love you, and extravagant gifts will never buy someone's love, just their comfort.

So if you can't buy love, how do you get it?

You've been hearing this since grade school, but getting your priorities straight is a MUST.

Work is important, and earning a salary is necessary. But work and money should never be what is most important in life, and you should never prioritize money above a significant other.

Finding the person you are meant to be with takes time, and maintaining the love between the two of you is no simple task.

Always put your significant other ahead of any desire of yours. Their needs should always come first, and for them, your needs will always come first.

It's the little things that keep people madly in love, not something money can buy.

The conversations you have with each other from the heart, the extra burden you put on yourself one day to allow your significant other to sleep in, or the meal you prepare for them so they have one less thing to worry about. The little, everyday things remind your S/O that they mean the world to you. Not the amount of money they're willing to spend for you.

So next time you're counting up your money to see if you have enough to afford the next new fun thing you want, consider how worthless it actually is to the quality of your life.

Love will bring your life value. Money will you bring you materials.

Don't settle for someone you're comfortable with. Find that person you would be with if they didn't have a dime in the world because that person will make you happier than any amount of money or materials ever could.

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