Why do friendships end? We go from being inseparable one day to realizing that we haven't heard from them in weeks. These people and these friend groups that we were so close to suddenly forget we exist, and we're left confused and hurt. It seems as though when some of us move away, get a new job, a new relationship, or just get busier, everyone forgets about them. Just because a close friend goes off to college/graduates shouldn't make them care less about the friendship at hand.
What's sad about friendships growing apart is the fact that we make time for who we want to see. So when a friend doesn't reach out to us for weeks or months at a time, we know it's because we are no longer a priority to them. Yes, people get busy, which is totally understandable. But there's a difference between being busy, and not caring to answer a text or schedule a lunch date. Friendship goes both ways. If I keep trying to reach out to friends, only to get short replies or no replies at all, I'm eventually going to stop. It doesn't mean I still don't want to see them, but I get the hint that they can't be bothered.
It's easy to stay close when your interests bring you close (ex. school, hobby, sport, sorority), but the real test is when you're separated. When you don't have that one bond keeping you together. That's when you realize if your friendship was strong, or was it just built on a mutual interest? If you want to make a friendship last, you will.
Social media also plays a role in this. We feel more connected to people, even those we haven't heard from in years, because of their profiles. We can see who they're dating, where they go to school, and what they spent their weekend doing. This makes us feel closer to people we really aren't close to at all. It's a false sense of community and togetherness, where in reality it can make us more alone. One of the most painful things about social media is that we can see those who we were once close to still hanging out, while we sit on the other side of the screen. It's like a knife in the heart when you see you're left out of the people's lives whom you never thought would leave.
It hurts the most for the person, or group of people, who are standing on the sidelines wanting to continue the friendship when the others aren't reciprocating. Whether it's the ones who went off to college waiting on those in their hometown, or the one left at their job while their other friends moved on to a new place. This leaves you wondering, "What happened to us?"
Friendship is definitely something that changes over time, and it's okay to grow apart. Unfortunately knowing this doesn't make it any easier, but it helps to know that other people are going through the same things. What's important to remember that those who are supposed to stay, will.
