"Maybe some people just aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It's like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn. And that's why they're here. You'll have that gift forever.” —Danielle Steel
Ex-Best Friend: As you know, we met through some mutual friends sophomore year in college when we were both working for the dorm as Resident Assistants at Walla Walla University in Eastern Washington. As the weeks went by in the beginning of the school year our personalities and lives latched on and we quickly became "besties". Throughout Sophomore year and even parts of Junior year, we did basically everything together. Worships, film projects, church vespers, friend gatherings, lived together (roommates), grocery shopping, dinner, laundry, photo shoots, late night Del Taco runs, thanksgiving and spring breaks, summer camp, and the list goes on and on.
Its been months since we last talked - who would have seen that coming? But, here goes..
So many could have's, should have's, and would have's.
We were supposed to be best friends for life and always have each other's backs. But, the next thing I knew, we were growing further and further apart.
I guess you could saying that nothing is ever really constant and no one truly owe's anyone anything. But even though we are no longer "sisters" I still want to thank you.
You know, I looked up to you throughout that time. To me, you were a strong woman of faith who always reminded me to keep God at the center of my life and to always be focused on Him. You showed me what hard work and dedication looked like when it came to completing tasks and projects. And, you showed me how to laugh until my insides hurt and enjoy the little things in life.
But, from a spiritual standpoint, I do believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason. People whom we come into contact with are either a blessing or a lesson. In our case, at first, it seemed like a blessing. I mean we had so many things in common and always hit it off. We were witty, pretty, and wise.
But then I started to come to the realization that our friendship was a lesson. I realized that we were not going to be life-long friends. I realized that you were temporary, and not permanent.
Was that hurtful? Heck yeah! Did I try to save/salvage our friendship? Too many times dude. But for what it's worth, and above all odds, I am so grateful we had those struggles that kept hitting us one after the other. And, I am also grateful and thankful for all the wonderful memories we shared at the same time.
All of our tiffs, disagreements, disputes, accusations, fights, are a part of the elements that made me who I am today. They made me stronger.
'Ex-Best Friend', if you're reading this right now, it was a bummer and extremely unfortunate that we had to go our separate ways. But I am deeply thankful for all that you taught me, especially for teaching me what kind of friend I don't want to be.
At first, that sounds pretty harsh, right? But, its totally true.
I realized you were a bully by the way you made those around you feel, especially me. Although those around us thought everything was sunshine and rainbows, everything was not, they were awful.
I did so much for you. I took care of you when you were sick and supported you through your hard times, etc. And I never received acknowledgment or a genuine and decent 'thank you'. You basically took me for granted and walked all over me because you knew I was way too nice to ever stand up to you.
And the sad thing is that you knew that, and you kept doing that. You were perfectly content in treating me the way you did. You always had one foot in the door and one foot out in our friendship.
But also, on my part, I should have known to walk away the moment I noticed you were like this. Although, I didn't. I didn't because I knew that no matter how many crappy times we had, we would always have 'fun' times ahead of us.
I think now, that at that moment, I believed you would eventually change. But what I've learned now is that you won't see change or improvement with someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions and behavior. So, my bad.
But, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for walking away. You 'leaving' lifted this stress I was carrying on my shoulders and gave me a sense of what kind of people I did and didn't want in my life. Thank you for the fun times we had, and also thank you for the bad times we had.
To this day, despite everything, I still wish you the best. I hope you are safe wherever life has taken you and I hope you are loved by those around you. Most importantly, I hope you don't ever make anyone else feel the way you made me feel.
Everyone chooses their paths in life, and I guess your path just no longer intertwined with mine. But I hope you’re happy. Because I really do wish you the best. I hope you’ve found someone new to send all those weird memes too, to stay up on the phone with on the nights you just can’t sleep, to binge watch Parks and Rec with, and to equally complain and celebrate about all the things with.
Just know that I don't hate you, and regardless of our history, I will always love you. I wouldn't trade anything we experienced together, good and bad, for the world. I will always be grateful to have once called you, my best friend. Thank you for also always teaching me that, good things, come from a good God.
Still wishing you the best,
Friendship is such an important vessel in our lives. It should never be abused or treated unfairly. God put's these people in our lives, these friends that soon become family, to help build us up and not bring us down. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't always have the best experiences, but in the end they are learning experiences.