I was raised by parents of different religious backgrounds. My mom is a Mormon who grew up in Utah and Arizona in the 1970's. She went to church every weekend, and at age 13, was officially baptized into the into the Mormon faith. My dad is a Quaker who grew up in Pennsylvania and Maryland, attending Quaker school from pre-k all the way through college. His father, Earl G. Harrison Jr., was a prominent figure in Quaker education, serving headships at both Sidwell Friends School in D.C. and Westtown School in Pennsylvania. So, when I was growing up, I switched between attending Quaker meeting and Mormon church; one-week meeting, the next week church.

At church, I went to primary school after the main service. The teacher would give us little coloring booklets filled with black and white biblical scenes, and as we colored, she would tell us stories about people who lived a long time ago. We talked about a figure named God, his son Jesus, and a lot of other seemingly important men. At the time, God and Jesus were just characters in a story who just happened to be super popular and never really messed up anything. I eventually learned that perhaps God was not just a storybook character, but a Heavenly Father, who watched over us and encouraged us to choose the right. It was a bizarre thought for me, that there was this man or entity that resided in the heavens and knew everything about me. I had a hard time connecting with this premise, as my 6-year-old brain couldn't really conceptualize the existence of God. Even now, the thought is challenging for me to grasp.

In meeting, I would go to a children's group about halfway through the meeting time because no 6-year-old wants to sit still and quiet for a whole hour. All the kids would gather in a circle, and the teacher would give us various crafting activities. In earlier years, we learned about the founders of Quakerism, and the tenets that uphold Quaker beliefs. In songs, I learned the Quaker "SPICES": Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Stewardship. Instead of talking about someone named God as though he were a person that lived and breathed, we talked about an "inner light." We were taught that our "inner lights" were expressions of That of God in Everyone, or basically, reflections of divine guidance through each individual person. This inner light is with us wherever we might go and is present in all situations and accessible at all times. So, while my learning in meeting didn't directly oppose my learning in church, it was certainly different.

Although I was attending church and meeting at about the same rate, I was going to Quaker school five days a week. My schooling saw to it that I had way more exposure to Quakerism than I ever did Mormonism. I stopped going to church when I started middle school and never started up again. So it's logical that, after 15 years of Quaker school, I consider myself a Quaker by any religious standard. I realize, though, that intimate parts of who I am are Mormon, and have always been. This has been hard for me to come to terms with, because on the surface, I disagree with many fundamental beliefs of the Mormon church: most notably, their heteronormative stance on family. Many of things held dear by fellow Mormons were the very things I just couldn't accept or agree with. I was ready and willing to give up a Mormon identity because I was seemingly at odds with the church as a whole.

It seems sort of silly to say, but my opinion changed when I read a book; specifically, Jon Krakuaer's "Under the Banner of Heaven," which is an extensive history of the Mormon faith in light of a brutal attack by a Mormon fundamentalist. Krakauer outlines the inception of the Mormon faith and then trails the growing movement as followers trekked westward in covered wagons. In this book, Krakauer stressed two things: the first, that fundamentalist, mentally unstable, violent people are not to be cast as the face of a religion; it's an ignorant, fear-mongering tactic used to control people. The second is that, like any religion, Mormonism was founded on certain ideas and has grown and changed since then, and fundamental ideologies have had to adapt to the times. Tracking its growth stripped it of sensationalist-laden media, and I was able to see that I was perhaps a little bit "more Mormon" than I thought. I quickly realized that I had been judging my own faith by select standards, instead of appreciating it as a whole. Granted, the aspects of Mormonism I rejected were fairly significant parts of the faith; however, they did not define the faith as a whole. Instead of abandoning it in shame, I chose to make the following list.

6 Reasons I'm grateful for Quakerism and Mormonism

1. A Quaker education

I was fortunate to receive a Quaker education for all of my schooling. I have a hard time putting into words the immense appreciation I have for receiving a Quaker education. At Sandy Spring Friends School, at George School, and at Haverford, I have learned to think critically about my choices, creatively about my problems, compassionately about others, and openly about opinions I did not share. The aspects of my education that I hold in highest regard are the ways in which I was taught to think. You don't realize the importance of how you've been taught to think until you leave your safe place, your community, or your family, and you see how the rest of the world thinks. Every school I've been to has shared this common trait of pushing students to think further about everything, whether that means leaning into uncomfortable social discourse or trying to understand complex academic problems.

2. Silent worship

Barring summers, I've been attending meeting twice a week for 14 years. In lower school, middle school, and even into high school, I resented meeting. I hated the idea of having to sit in silence and do nothing for 40 minutes. When I surpassed the socially acceptable age of bringing a coloring book to meeting, I started developing habits to make the time go by quickly: tapping my feet silently in a musical beat, twisting my hair, reciting song lyrics in my head, or staring at/counting every single person in the meetinghouse. My junior year of high school was when I finally began to appreciate meeting. I either ran out of things to do to waste time, or I had some revelation. I began to like meeting because it was a time of complete and total re-centering and reflection. I closed my eyes and thought gently about my day, my friends, and my life. A moment of calm in days of chaos became highly valued as time went on.

3. Community

If I have learned anything from 15 years of Quaker education, it's that there is no feeling that matches that of being a part of a meaningful and supportive community. Being a part of a community is sort of like having a thousand brothers and sisters who you know will all come to bat for you at any point in time. I fell down constantly but was lifted back up on the shoulders of my community.

4. Family

When I attended primary school, one of the foremost lessons we learned was the necessity of a grounded family unit. My church stressed that the family was at the center of God's plan, and that strength and guidance could always be found in familial relationships. As I said, when I learned more intricacies of the Church's description of family, I had a hard time reconciling its heteronormative nature. I felt alienated as a Mormon, because I simply did not invest in their idea of what a family is, or that it is ordained by God to be so. However, through all my frustrations with the LDS church's portrayal of the family, I still felt as though there were aspects I connected with. In no other place and with no other instruction have I ever been taught to appreciate the importance of family as much as the LDS church has taught me to. The LDS church says "A Family is Forever," and I find this to be true. I value, love, appreciate, uplift, and rely on my family every day.

5. Consistency

Being Mormon has taught me to be consistent and motivated. The church I attended when I was a kid stressed the importance of good attendance. Every member of the congregation made their best effort to attend church every week. There were certainly days when I was tired and just wanted to watch cartoons all morning instead of putting on my Mary Jane's and going to church. With the not-so-subtle encouragement of my mom, I rarely missed a service, but I soon realized that it was the attitude of the entire ward that kept me coming back on time. Spending a morning at church was the first appointment in my life that I wanted to keep consistent. I realized that my lack of attendance let my peers down, and was detrimental to my church relationships. I restructured my schedule to fit church, rather than be at the whim of my own poor scheduling.

6. Service

The final aspect I am grateful for is service. Service has been taught to me mostly as a Quaker, but also as a Mormon. Service is a huge part of Quakerism; in fact, many Quaker meetings and camps focus on service for many of their outreach projects. I'm certain that taking a nationwide poll of volunteers would show more than a few people with a Quaker background. In school, I learned the value of service as I spent hours in the dining hall at my high school helping the kitchen staff, or mornings at a soup kitchen in middle school serving those in need. I mean, service feels good; it just does. Mormons regard service in a similar, perhaps more formal, light. They do service in trips and outings, and usually as a group. Mission work is also a form of service, and to me, one of the most incredible forms of service. Spending months and months away from home when you're 19 or 20 isn't easy. I've never served on a mission, but I've met a lot of missionaries and the way they speak about their work is reminiscent of the way Quakers speak about service. It's about selflessness, learning, teaching, and spreading goodwill.

So all in all, I'm a Quaker... but I'm also a Mormon. Both spiritually valid, both present in my day-to-day, and both significant to who I am. It's confusing sometimes, but it makes my life more interesting, more fun, and more meaningful.