"Why on earth is that guy dating her? She’s not even that pretty. Can you believe how much weight she has gained in the past year? If she ever expects to find a boyfriend, she has got to get that under control. Does she really think she could be a lawyer? No one would ever take her seriously…"
Every day these kinds of questions and statements are said about women everywhere. Constantly, we are torn down by these types of messages, telling us we aren’t enough. We aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, worthy enough, skinny enough. It’s all been said. Society has made it clear we’re never going to measure up, and the sad thing is, we believe it. In fact, a report on the state of self-esteem was conducted by Dove, and researchers found 7 in 10 girls do not think they are good enough or measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with family and friends. How awful is that? 70% of women feel inadequate.
Well, as women, we have got to quit believing that we aren’t enough. I mean this with all of my heart when I tell you that you are truly beautiful. Each and every one of you. You are worthy of love, regardless of if society agrees. We are all struggling with something, but those things do not define us. Whether you are struggling with body image, confidence, or whatever, don’t forget to remind yourself of that.
So many of us look at these unattainable images of women on social media and in magazines, and we think that we are less because we do not look like them or we don’t lead the lives they do. But guess what? No one does, not even the women you see in those pictures. Their lives may seem just as perfect as their Instagram, but the truth is we all struggle. Many of us struggle in particular with body image. It’s engrained in us that we can always stand to lose a little bit of weight or tighten up this or that area. You hear people belittle someone’s beauty, and it makes you hesitate to believe your own. What’s even more saddening is some of the results I found as part of Dove’s Choose Beautiful campaign. According to the survey, 96 percent of women would not call themselves beautiful, yet 80 percent said all women have something that makes them beautiful.. Why is it that we can find beauty in others, but not ourselves? I’m no expert, but from my experience I think it honestly has to do with the people we surround ourselves with, as well as our own self criticism. People that are hurting us instill doubt about our worth and have a tendency to make us feel this sense of inadequacy. On top of that, how we view ourselves makes all the difference. We are more critical of ourselves than any other person. We criticize every little flaw we see and make ourselves out to be less. When you put those two forms of criticism together, it’s easy to see why we struggle so much with adequacy.
But here’s why I’m saying all of this. We should be lifting each other up, instead of tearing each other down. Making comments like “She’s not pretty enough for him” or “She’s not smart enough to do that” does nothing but reinforce what society tells us. Instead of that, let us all rise above this stigma. To do this though, it starts with you. You can’t just pretend you think you are enough. You have to actually believe it. Not only that, but you must remind yourself of this constantly. Only when we believe we are enough can we show others the same.
I found an excerpt from a poem called “Not” by Erin Hanson that I want to share with you:
…You’re the things you believe in,
And the people that you love,
You’re the photos in your bedroom,
And the future you dream of.
You’re made of so much beauty,
But it seems that you forgot,
When you decided that you were defined,
By all the things you’re not.
Remember the beauty from which you come. You are unique and beautiful in a way that no one else is. You make a choice everyday about your worth and what you believe about yourself. You can choose to believe you are enough, or you can choose to believe what society tells you. The choice is yours, but I think we both know what choice to make. Choose to believe you are worthy. Choose to believe you deserve happiness. Choose to believe you are enough.
